Anthony Ryan’s Camel Toe and Butt Jumpsuit.

HOLY MOLY! There was some serious drama this week on Project Runway. Like Maury Povich level of drama.

The show starts off at the crack of dawn with individual boxes for each designer full of….activewear. Not the most fashionable way to begin your day. We also see Becky trying so hard to get a very depressed Cecilia out of bed who’s obviously lost all competitive spirit. The gang heads down to a running track to meet Heidi and Tim when the drama instantly kicks off when they are informed they will be doing another team challenge.

In a bad flashback from high school, they have to race around the track with the top four runners to become team captains. And as they line up Cecilia drops the bombshell on Tim that she wants to quit the show. What?! Everyone goes through multiple rigorous audition processes to get to that point and after one time in the bottom, she is ready to jump ship. Then she says one sentence that made my right eyebrow arch like Joan Crawford. “I tried my best to get out yesterday.” Gasp!! She was trying to tank the runway challenge with that ghastly dress and she still couldn’t get sent home? Wow. I will say kudos to her for leaving the show if she didn’t want to win; it really isn’t fair to the rest.

Before anyone has time to process the whistle blows and they’re off! Josh M takes off and to my surprise Bryce Black comes in second! I haven’t ever seen that boy move that fast except for maybe once when we were running to the Low Brow Lounge for a much-needed cocktail. Olivier took an awful spill and while they were patching him up passes flat out. What is going on here?!

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Anya with Team Josh M.

Anthony Ryan and Viktor are the other two captains and because of the uneven team numbers and Cecilia’s sudden departure Viktor is allowed to bring back an eliminated contestant. They choose Josh C. which I was actually happy about because he just seems like such a sweet guy and that he really wants it. The teams are all chosen and you can smell trouble brewing.

The challenge is to design a non-gym related outfit that corresponds to the sneakers Heidi Klum designed for New Balance. The sketching sessions quickly turned into a snarky bitchy fest, followed by a snarky bitchy fabric shopping trip and ending with some snarky bitchy workroom time. First off, my comedic crush on Josh M is soooo over. He was a self-righteous bully to our Becky Ross and I do not appreciate the ‘tude from that tan dude. He may not care for her more simplistic design aesthetic but to bring her on as a hired hand, ignore any of her ideas and then bully her to tears while throwing insults is just plain shady. Josh M, you just made my bad list.

In a similar scenario across the room Anthony Ryan and Laura were busy ignoring Bert. Although instead of bullying Bert to tears, Bert just got prissy and snarky back. It became uncomfortable to watch and I wished Tim would show up, smack everyone and tell them to shape up or ship out. Exhausting. After Heidi saw everything going on, she gives them 5 extra hours and leaves them to their stress. The next morning is a flurry of more mini-dramas and you sense there are no clear winners leading up to the runway show.

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Bryce Black

The show started with Viktor and his super cool motorcycle jacket. I loved it and Josh C had a helluva comeback with his holster tee and pants that totally worked with the sneaker concept. Olivier broke a PR rule: Don’t ignore the judge’s critique. His skirt that Heidi called farm like still looked farm like. I don’t know why he didn’t just chop it off above the knee; it would’ve been so much cuter.

Team Bryce’s collection began with Bryce’s rad dress with pin tuck dart shaping and snaps up the side. Super cool. Kimberly’s outfit also looked great with the shorts and jacket little combo. Then Danielle’s outfit with the one pop of lone turquoise seemed to be party crashing from someone else’s collection, because it didn’t really go with this one.

Moving on to Team Anthony Ryan began with the most hideous romper I have ever seen. And he totally knew it too. This look surprised me because he seems to be quite talented and why he didn’t try something else last minute, I don’t understand. Laura’s look never quite came together but the vest was a cool idea. Bert’s top had a good cut that I liked. Did it look like something to wear with sneakers though? Ummm, no.

Team Snarky Josh M. began with Josh’s shredded vest look which had some promise. Becky’s piece then neither looked like her at all or that good. Considering the drama and lack of input she was allowed to give it doesn’t surprise me at all. Anya’s maxi dress was one of my favorite pieces, but the color strips didn’t appear to actually be sewed down which was distracting.

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Viktor (deservedly) winning look

The judges couldn’t find anything they fully liked or hated so they did a team-by-team breakdown that immediately led into Anthony Ryan and Bert having a cat fight on the stage before sending everyone backstage. In the judges breakdown we saw them sort of praise Joshua M for using Becky without respecting her. Not cool. They also spoke very highly of Bryce’s garment. Michael Kors flat out said, “I love that dress.” Wha? Too bad they didn’t rave about it to Bryce’s face, that probably would’ve been a lovely confidence boost.

Then the Pièce de résistance: The judges get into an argument about whether to send home Anthony Ryan who by far had the worst outfit, but the best history. Or do they send home Danielle who’s had two mediocre outfits in a row and nothing really spectacular so far? The show claims to be based on week to week judging but, come on; we know that’s now how it is. And should it be? I’d much rather see a designer with consistent potential and ideas stay then someone who maybe has one lucky week and a lot of narrow squeak throughs. But then again, isn’t the point of fashion that you have to be current and thought provoking every time or you get left in the dust?

At the end of the day promise won out over strict rule following and Danielle was sent home instead of Anthony Ryan’s camel toe romper. Oh and bully Joshua M and Viktor both won the challenge, but after the emotionally exhaustive drama of the whole thing I couldn’t even muster the effort to care.

No more team challenges!! My poor heart can’t take it.