Oh Alanis, your Jagged Little Pill album got me through my early adolescence and healthy aggression towards teen boys, but I still can’t say I love the sheer asymmetrical hemline or messy bangs. Thanks for the free therapy though!

Watching hoity toity award shows with extravagant red carpet arrivals is usually one of the highlights of a fashion bloggers world. At least, until you have to sit through something like last night’s abysmal American Music Awards. Besides the fact that the show lost any street cred with me long ago and the voting is so odd no one really gets how people win, it turned me into a grumpy old curmudgeon yelling at my television. (I may have even said, “What’s wrong with kids today?”)

On top of all this, you add J. Lo’s multiple offenses and it was just a recipe for disaster. Let’s analyze them, shall we? Her glitter body suit was a serious knock off of Britney Spears glitter body suit from a few years ago. Before she stripped down to that she was first in a weird cape, then a fringed gold leotard with a long metallic, er, appendage hanging from her nether regions. She hopped into a vehicle on stage mid-performance (oh and it’s one she is paid to endorse!) before grinding her booty on some rapper who appeared. First, what in there is about music?! Second, while I firmly believe you can be sexy at any age (Hello Susan Sarandon, Meryl Streep, Helen Mirren, Angelica Houston, etc.) I think in your 40’s a nude body suit is just….plain….tacky (and let’s be honest, not that flattering).

Once my inner annoyance was released, it flowed out onto the other unsuspecting starlets. See for yourself in the slide show.