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One of my biggest "cool crushes" of all time let me down with what appears to be fancy sweatpants, a leopard Jazzercise unitard and a little superhero cape. You gotta look at the sign behind her and wonder, "Is this what Kristen thinks of us?!"

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To me this dress looks like a Project Runway creation. One where ten minutes before the runway Tim Gunn told the designer it was too short to please the judges so the designer quickly glued whatever black fabric they had into a "Which one of these things doesn’t belong" bottom ruffle.

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Look if you’re going to delve into the "dressing like a ballerina" world you have to decide if you’re going the princess route or the Black Swan way. Trying to do both is just plain greedy.

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How much do you want to bet this was leftover from some music video she did and someone convinced her it would be "so cute" to go out in a camel toe inducing military jumpsuit? I’d put a fiver on it…

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When craft projects go bad…

Taking the couch cover off and fashioning it into a dress is not, I reapeat, not a good idea.

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I don’t want too get accusatory, but I’m fairly certain Tilda Swinton stole this coat from my 80-year-old grandmother. Has there been any break ins at the house Grams??

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