oscars
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This photo is proof that even Helena Bonham Carter is confused on what she is wearing.

Image: WireImage
Oscars
2 of 29
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I heard folks raving about this dress. I have to be in the severe dislike camp. When I look at this I thought it looked like the layer that would go underneath a suit of armor. And Gwyny you couldn’t do something else with your hair besides your everyday (albeit pretty) look?

Ouch, the long telecast made me a little snarky.

Image: WireImage
Oscars
3 of 29
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Oh my word, it’s finally happened. Someone decided that her dress couldn’t sit with the pretty dresses so they found a strap and nailed her to the ground.

Image: WireImage
Oscars
4 of 29
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I love, love, love Marisa Tomei and I don’t care what anybody else says. This dress was not the most amazing of the evening, but it did move beautifully when she walked.

Image: WireImage
Oscars
5 of 29
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How big was that spider web Halle Berry walked through here?! Whewwwww, glad she made it out ok.

Image: WireImage
Oscars
6 of 29
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Meow………

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Oscars
7 of 29
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The man. The genius. The tan. Valentino.

Image: WireImage
Oscars
8 of 29
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I feel like I’m randomly picking on Mark Wahlberg’s wife here, but this was one of my most hated outfits of the evening. Perhaps I’m mad at her for ditching the world of darker hair and going blonde, but the whole Stepford Wife look pales in comparison to her past years looks.

Image: WireImage
Oscars
9 of 29
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Pregnant plum perfection? I think so. This is one of the most flattering maternity gowns I’ve ever seen. It wasn’t the best color against the red, but onstage it was gorgeous.

Oscars
10 of 29
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Nicole, please stop. I think you are an amazing actress and I want to applaud your red carpet choices. However, you are making that difficult when you wear gowns that seem to just point to your lady-bits. Also, your bangs need to be sprayed back or brought down, it’s important to make a firm decision on that.

Image: WireImage
Oscars
11 of 29
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Super fabulous! A little underplayed for the Oscar, but we’re grading on a curve here so thumbs up.

Image: WireImage
Oscars
12 of 29
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Question: Doesn’t Christian Bale make like 5 million dollars a picture? Why then are he and his wife wearing the exact same outfits that they wore to the Golden Globes? Did they not get my notes on that? Because I did not approve then and I feel the same way now.

Image: WireImage
Oscars
13 of 29
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I love an unexpected red carpet moment! I don’t know if I have ever liked a Celine Dion red carpet look and this one made me nod at my television, "look" her squarely in the eyes and say (outloud) "Good for you."

Image: WireImage
Oscars
14 of 29
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Lovely Michelle – A solid B-. It’s nowhere near as amazing as the yellow dress you wore years ago that fluttered my heart. But, it doesn’t pain my eyes like the daisy dress from the Golden Globes. Hence, a solid B-.

Image: WireImage
Oscars
15 of 29
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Methinks someone paid Amy Adams to wear that necklace. That’s the only thing I can think of because it certainly does not go with the outfit, nor does it look good. That whole neck area needs some big time alterations. It’s close though Amy, so close.

Image: WireImage
Oscars
16 of 29
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Once again Miss Hudson looks smoking hot on the red carpet. BUT Jennifer, the hair?! Can we re-do that up-do?

Image: WireImage
Oscars
17 of 29
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This is a 180 turn from that bang fiasco we had at the last awards show. Nobody can do that color of red better than a brunette. Nice choice Sandy.

Image: WireImage
Oscars
18 of 29
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Ok in the fashion world we do actually use the word "Fierce." But in this case Sharon Stone looks so fierce I actually got a little scared and had to down a glass of wine while practicing some yoga breaths. I hope the night terrors don’t come next.

Image: WireImage
Oscars
19 of 29
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Helen Mirren is my personal bench mark for how I’d like to dress when I’m older. She looks sexy and modern while still being completely age appropriate. Keep up the good work as a role model Helen and we’ll both do just fine.

Image: WireImage
Oscars
20 of 29
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I am so over this look this year. I feel like we’ve seen this dress and its reincarnations 50 times already. Our fashion fight is back on Hilary and this time….it’s personal.

Image: WireImage
Oscars
21 of 29
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I firmly believe in encouraging your children’s art projects. I just don’t think you should trust them with your Oscar dress and a fresh pair of scissors.

Image: WireImage
Oscars
22 of 29
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Reese Witherspoon has ended her run as one of my favorite red carpet girls. In related news she has just been crowned the new "Miss Texas!" Hey y’all!

Image: WireImage
Oscars
23 of 29
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This dress can’t decide if it wants to be dowdy or sexy and the whole thing is left in an uncomfortable state. Dowxy? Sexdy?

Image: WireImage
Oscars
24 of 29
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When J.T. said he was "bringing sexy back," he really meant it. Thank goodness for honesty in art.

Image: WireImage
Oscars
25 of 29
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She looks like a pretty princess and at 14 years old, I love it! Especially when nearly all the other teens in Hollywood are smoking Salvia or prancing around nearly topless. Do I sound old? I don’t care, she still looks good.

Image: WireImage
Oscars
26 of 29
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Russell there are so many positive ways you could be getting attention! You’re a tall drink of water, you’ve got great bone structure and you’re very, very rich. You don’t need to be acting out in these ways with terribly awkward outfit. Just go collect yourself and try again next time.

Image: WireImage
Oscars
27 of 29
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Do I love Cate Blanchett for taking fashion risks when no one else does? Yes, I do. Do I still hate this dress that kind of reminds me of Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music? Yes, I do.

Oscars
28 of 29
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Who would have thought the whiny girl from That 70’s Show would become my steady rock during awards season? I love a dark horse in the running and you, Mila Kunis, just nosed ahead. Purple and lacey with just the slightest hint of saloon girl. Loves it!

Oscars
29 of 29
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These are my two favorite of the hosts many looks that night. And I feel personally jilted that she wore these two the least amount while keeping that opening gown on looooong past it’s due date.

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