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Former Portlander Esperanza Spalding did our city proud last night. She unexpectedly won the Best New Artist Grammy and looked pretty fierce in her frilly chartreuse gown. (I question the shoe color a bit, but hey Pdx-er to Pdx-er we’ll let it slide.)

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Diaper pants? No, no, no…..

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Usher, you know better than this. I know you do.

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I get that this is "a look" he is going for. I don’t really like it personally, but at least it’s complete.

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Lots of people hated this dress. I think it’s pretty. Am I getting soft?

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Ohhhh shoot, no one told Nicki Minaj that Michelle Pfeiffer was cast as Catwoman years ago and the role is off the table. Someone get her that memo.

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Ricky Martin must be vying for Mayor of Tight Pants Town. Good luck with the election!

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I’ve said don’t (exactly) match your eyeshadow to your outfit, but I’ve never had to say don’t match your skirt to your hair color. Well, there is a first time for everything. Here goes, Don’t match your skirt to your hair color.

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No clue who this is, who the designer is or what’s happening here. Put it on the front of a magazine for an amazing editorial piece, but not the red carpet.

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I actually think Lil Wayne looks very dapper. It’s a little casual for the affair, but considering the other fashion felonies going on I’ll take it.

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What the hell is going on? Wings? A Saran Wrap skirt? I can’t even make a joke, just take it all in.

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Nailed it!

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Rihanna,

You are gorgeous and talented. You do not have to show your Hoo-Ha to make friends.

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I know Will Smith’s daughter is like 10, so I will be very kind and just say this: Awards ceremonies are not necessarily costume parties.

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Why is Kim Kardashian at the Grammy’s? And why is she wearing something so unflattering? Some questions have no answers.

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John Mayer is working on a fall back career – Johnny Depp impersonator.

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Tribute to Bjork’s swan dress? I think so. Something about it is kind of pretty in an odd way. Not the best, not the worst.

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I’m just going to say it. Does she look fantastic? Yes. Do I think that over the age of 40 that hemline should start coming down? Yes.

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I love designer Emilio Pucci, but I feel like this leans towards a swimsuit cover up, not a gown.

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Goal: Dress exactly like a Creamsicle.
Mission = Accomplished!

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Previously unpublished lyric: "Girls just want to have fun in bondage inspired leather mullet dresses."

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Kings of Leon expressed their Southern manners by dressing appropriately!

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Sticking your finger in an electrical outlet is not an FDA approved way to do your hair.

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Love that purple floaty frou frou-ness. It begs for a different hairstyle though. Begs for it.

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WOW! Jennifer Hudson in Versace was killing it. Triple Fabulous.

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Pretty classy P. Diddly! But if I saw him in person I would have to resist the urge to run up and tear open the top button. I’m pretty fast, I might get away with it before a 400 pound bodyguard swatted me into the atmosphere like a fruit fly.

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How much do you want to bet his favorite movie is A Christmas Story?

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The beard might be swaying me, but I think Ray LaMontagne looks super snazzy.

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A bunch of British guys who have perfected the art of looking like they are from Portland.

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In the Saved by the Bell debate, I am totally a Zach Morris kind of a girl. Though I must admit, AC Slater cleans up pretty nicely.

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My theory on this dress: She was ready to go and accidentally sat on a pen leaving on ink stain on her backside. With no time to get a new dress her assistant took the remaining fabric leftover from making this and just tied it to her waist.

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The next time you want to make a grand entrance at an event ,take a page from Lady Gaga’s book. Curl up inside a mini-chicken membrane replica. That’ll get the party started!

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After stealing Batman’s suit, Lady Gaga leaves citizens of Gotham without hope.

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