I don’t drive—I ride the bus. And I consider myself a master of all things in the bus universe. I know when to ring the bell so as to give the driver plenty of time to stop. I enter in the front and exit in the back to alleviate corridor congestion. I cheerfully surrender my seat to the elderly and infirm. I am stoic when confronted by the hygienically challenged. I remain calm when fellow passengers are suffering from grand mal seizures, conniption fits, and full-blown psychotic epi...

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