KEVIN COOK
EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT/FEMALE IMPERSONATOR
SALARY: $68,000

 

IN THE INTEREST of full-disclosure, we tapped one of our own, Kevin Cook, executive assistant to Portland Monthly’s publisher (who also has a second career as the drag queen diva known as Poison Waters), to expose his spending habits for one week. Cook affords his seemingly extravagant lifestyle of Broadway shows, cashmere scarves and martini lunches in part by keeping his expenditures very, very low: “I don’t have a wife, kids, a car or a mortgage,” he says. He often picks up tabs at meals with friends and donates about $5,000 per year to charity—generosity that’s partly a response to the generosity his own family received from others. “I grew up poor. We were on state assistance more times than not,” he says. Still, he admits to “overindulging” in some areas, namely size-12 (wide) high heels, ladies’ handbags and MAC makeup. “I have 20 years’ worth of evening gowns,” he says of the wardrobe that supports his nighttime profession. “But I always want more.” He refuses to comment on his low-grade addiction to video poker.

‘Some people think my spending is irresponsible, but I don’t have a wife, kids, car or a mortgage.’

SPENDING DIARY
12/09/07 – 12/15/07

SUNDAY

$15 – Sausage and coffee with Bailey’s breakfast, JOQ’s
$40 – Video poker (won $181)
$40 – Charitable donations, Q Center
$60 – Cheeseburger lunch for five, Flying Pig
$100 – Video poker (won $263)
$20 – Drinks, Darcelle XV
$30 – Soup and salad late-night supper for two, Hobo’s

MONDAY

$13 – Fried rice lunch, Hunan’s

TUESDAY

$10 – Yoga
$7 – Soup and sandwich, Downtown Freddie Brown’s
$2 – MAX to PDX (to catch flight to New York City)
$2 – Bottled water

WEDNESDAY
(New York City)

$4 – Bottled water
$55 – Taxi to Carnegie Hall
$61 – Ticket to Broadway musical A Chorus Line
$60 – 3 x scarves, Gap
$2 – Hot dog lunch, street cart
$69 – Martini and croque madame lunch for two, Brasserie Maison
$20 – Charitable donation to Broadway Cares/ Equity Fights AIDS
$73 – Martini and “Italian” sushi dinner for two, Alfredo of Rome
$62 – Concert and cocktails, Zipper Factory
$9 – Mini-burger late-night supper, White Castle
$30 – Taxis

THURSDAY
(New York City)

$23 – Doughnut breakfast for two, Dunkin’ Donuts
$90 – 2 x tickets to Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular Starring the Rockettes
$61 – Ticket to Broadway musical Curtains
$56 – Red wine and burger lunch for two, Roxy Delicatessen
$25 – 2 x Bailey’s and coffee, Al Hirschfeld Theatre
$26 – Taxis

FRIDAY
(New York City)

$9 – 2 x eggnog lattes, Starbucks
$10 – Photos, street vendor
$17 – 2 x shots of Bailey’s, Radio City Music Hall
$41 – Ticket to off-Broadway drama Die Mommie Die!
$207 – Cashmere scarf, Salvatore Ferragamo
$210 – Vest, sweaters, cuff links; Kenneth Cole
$183 – Scarf, sweaters, coat; H&M
$30 – Shoes, Rafik
$105 – Martini and salad dinner for two, Vynl
$44 – False eyelashes, nail polish, pimp hat; Ricky’s NYC
$20 – Martinis, New World Stages
$20 – Celia Cruz T-shirt
$143 – Appetizers and cocktails for two, Bar Ten Lounge
$65 – Taxis

SATURDAY
(New York City)

$13 – NYC T-shirts
$423 – 4 x beaded evening gowns; Elle Belle
$51 – Rhinestone accessories, Fashion Galaxy
$51 – Shirts, H&M
$55 – Soup and cocktails, Mercury Bar
$52 – Taxi to JFK airport
$40 – Taxi from PDX back home

TOTAL
$2,854

BREAKDOWN
MEN’S CLOTHING $774
ENTERTAINMENT/PARTYING $595
WOMEN’S CLOTHING $518
EATING OUT $471
TRANSPORTATION $270
GAMBLING $140
CHARITY $60
MISCELLANEOUS $26

Number of Hummers sold in Portland last year: 400