Fantasy Food Carts
Some sidewalk dining we've been longing for ...
One for the Road
Part bar, part cart, the Bar(t) is always on the move. Its mission: to serve hordes of thirsty patrons waiting for tables outside our many fashionable restaurants that decline reservations (you know who you are). To skirt OLCC regulations, each drink even comes wrapped in a paper bag!
Menu Ideas
The Bar(t)ini: vodka, vermouth, olive, diesel exhaust, stirred $8
A Sidecar Named Desire: cognac, Cointreau, Spanish fly $8
Sit/Lie: Mad Dog 20/20, NyQuil, shaken (served up or down) $4
See Food
Finally, a U-pick farm for the fruit of the ocean! Fish in a Barrel offers fresh new meaning to “locally sourced,” whether you’re in the mood for salmon, trout, or Dungeness crab—all of ’em caught, gutted, and cooked on-site. You point, they spear.
Menu Ideas
Fishin’ Chips: line-caught trout, flash-fried with pommes-frites $8
Carterpillar Roll: the eel of your choice, grilled and wrapped
in seaweed with rice and avocado $6
EsCartGo: garlic, butter, snails … immédiatement! $16
HENS! HENS! HENS!
Finally, a cart that pairs Portland’s passions for food carts and … strip clubs. At Fluffers, local chickens dare to bare it all (before they become your dinner) to a soundtrack that includes Alice in Chains’ “Rooster” and, of course, Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Free Bird.” Alluring yet repulsive. Don’t forget to tip.
Menu Ideas
4-piece “thunder” thighs: $6
6-piece shake-n-bake breasts: $10
Lap dance: $20
’Post Hole
One side effect of Portland’s cart scene is waste—and, when the sidewalk trash cans overflow, litter. Enter the ReCycle, a bike-powered hyperaccumalator of trash and cutlery. Pay the man to haul your scraps and papers, and enjoy your huarache guilt-free. Just don’t get in the way of Hoover, the one-pig compost machine.
Menu Ideas
Recycle your plastic and glass: 25 cents
Compost your food scraps: 50 cents
Assuage your to-go guilt: priceless
