BAR PILOT Blog

Holiday Cocktails

Cranberry Sauced

Family time calls for a stiff drink

Posted by: John Chandler on Nov 23, 2009 at 11:00AM Speech Bubble 7 Comments

As promised, I’ve turned my attention to Thanksgiving cocktails. Any time my family is shoved together under one roof, it calls for drastic measures, alcohol-wise. Since slamming a forty of malt liquor in polite company is frowned upon, you might try this tasty (and potent) little number.

Cranberry Crusher

Ingredients:

1 1/2 oz Vodka
1/2 oz Amaretto
1/2 oz Gin
2 oz Cranberry Juice
2 oz Orange Juice
Grenadine optional (just a splash)

Directions
Fill a pint glass half full with ice and add the vodka, followed by cranberry and orange juice. Gin and amaretto next. Add grenadine to make more aesthetically pleasing (or not). Stir and garnish with a lemon wedge.

It’s got to be at least a pint glass for me. I need the liquid fortitude to steel myself against Aunt Frieda’s annual discussion of her post-operative complications, and Uncle Gary’s latest anti-government tirade. (“It’s not a militia for Pete’s sake. It’s just a club—with plenty of ammunition.”)

OK, drinking buddies, it’s your turn. What do you recommend for getting through the torments of Turkey Day?

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Tags: Recipes, Cocktails, Holiday Events

Drink Locally

Happy Beerthday!

Free beer at East Burn once a year

Posted by: John Chandler on Nov 06, 2009 at 01:00PM Speech Bubble 9 Comments

No, this isn’t me. Not yet, anyway.

Free beer on your birthday? Yeah, right. And all the hot girls in your office have to accept a date request from you too.

A reader named Ross just sent me a query (it’s like a letter but shorter) wanting to know the best place in Portland for free drinks on your birthday. My reply was short and to the point: “Your house.” But, good sport that I am, I vowed to look into the matter.

Imagine my shock and surprise. Turns out you and nine (whoa!) friends can indeed drink for free on your birthday at East Burn, 1800 E. Burnside. Wait! Wait! Before you make babysitter plans, be advised that certain restrictions apply.

You must come in and register at least a week in advance.

The free drinking is for one hour only.

Tap and bottled beer or house wine only.

The drinking hour must be after 9 PM.

East Burn will only accommodate two parties per night. First registered, first served.

I’m still trying to contain my joy and rage. After all, I’ve had 15 birthdays in Portland, but no free hour of drinking. This shall not stand. Does anybody else know of any sweet birthday deals around town? I really want to know.

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Tags: Beer, Cheap, Holiday Events

Out and About

Halloween Memories

Good thing I was taking pictures

Posted by: John Chandler on Nov 03, 2009 at 11:00AM Speech Bubble 8 Comments

Photo: John Chandler

Me, aka the Bar Pilot, aka Pabst Man, the people’s superhero.

View Slideshow »

Halloween is my favorite holiday, hands down. Christmas and Thanksgiving are not without their charms, but both involve stressful family get-togethers with their attendant mind-numbingly tedious mealtime conversations. My brother’s gag concerning the whereabouts of the gravy boat (“I think it ran aground!”) got big laughs the first time he said it—back in 1974. Now it’s a teeth-grinding, anticipatory nightmare, like an imminent tax deadline or waiting for a physical examination conducted by Dr. Chillyhands.

And don’t get me started on Christmas shopping! The Bataan death march was a cakewalk in comparison. At least those sorry souls could look forward to a cessation of suffering and the arrival of sweet oblivion. They didn’t have to hang around after the march’s conclusion listening to relatives gripe about “the miserable haul this year” and their inevitable trip to the Target “returns” counter. “An army of sneezing brats drooling all over the place; might as well book a cruise on a plague ship,” is a popular post-Yuletide sentiment heard around our tree. This now concludes the whine portion of the blog post.

Halloween is an enthusiastic embrace of mischief, pageantry, and good-natured deviltry. We don fantasy garb and slip out under the cover of darkness to let our inner wolves sniff a few butts, eat fun-size Snickers bars till our choppers beg for mercy, and howl a bit with the rest of the pack. And with this Halloween taking place on a Saturday night, it was all just too perfect.

I was dressed as Pabst Man, the people’s superhero. I wiggled into my Pabst union suit, stuck a Pabst cap on my head, and filled my backpack with cans of PBR. I handed these out to everyone I met, intoning, “Please enjoy this complimentary beverage from Pabst Brewing. Drink responsibly.” Pabst, it should be known, is currently without a spokesman. Consider this my audition.

My friends and I went to a swinging cocktail party where we went through a bottle of Kahlua while listening to our host’s awesome collection of 45s. We then departed around 11:30 to ramble the streets and mingle with our fellow revelers. As we sauntered up SE Hawthorne, we couldn’t help but notice the abundance of zombies, witches, flappers, mummies, kitty cats, Martians, and pirates out parading in their seasonal finery. The air was thick with a Mardi Gras-like aroma of friendly intoxication, and we recklessly struck up conversations with total strangers. It was, after all, Halloween. One night of the year that we didn’t have to be our cowering, banal selves. We could be anyone behind these masks.

Is it possible I’ve been watching too much Dexter on Netflix?

Here then, is my web-exclusive slideshow from Halloween night on Hawthorne. Now it’s all coming back to me. If you feel so moved, share some fond Halloween memories with me and the drinking buddies.

Note to the general public: If you happen to find yourself as an unwilling participant in this slideshow, please contact me at jchandler@portlandmonthlymag.com and we’ll do our best to blur you out of the picture.

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Tags: Slideshow, Holiday Events

Drink or Treat

Halloween Spirits

Anyone have scary cocktail ideas?

Posted by: John Chandler on Oct 30, 2009 at 10:00AM Speech Bubble 9 Comments

Waiter! What’s this spider doing in my drink?

The backstroke! Har!

I’m going to a Halloween cocktail party this Saturday and I’ve been racking my cranium for the perfect drink to bring. Needless to say, it’s got to be scary. I seem to remember one year we did a “Witch’s Brew” sort of a thing, that consisted of two bottles of cheap champagne covered with a layer of sherbet, to give it a scummy, swampy look, but I think if we put our heads together, we can do better.

What I’m trying to say is, SEND ME YOUR HALLOWEEN COCKTAIL RECIPES! Right now.

I’ll start.

The Black Widow

Cream de Cassis
Vodka
triple sec
fresh lemon juice
Pomegranate juice
licorice strings

Two parts cassis, three parts vodka, one part triple sec, one part lemon juice, one part pomegranate. “Hey, what’s a part?” I can hear you exclaim. In an average cocktail shaker, figure you’ve got about eight parts. Come on, it’s not an exact science. Nothing’s going to explode. So pour your parts into a shaker with ice, shake for ten seconds, and strain into a martini glass. Garnish with licorice strings to simulate spider legs. Ooooh! Scary! When it comes to Halloween drinks, the fright element usually lies in a properly gruesome garnish. Roughly peeled radishes stuffed with olives make good bloodshot eyeballs, for example.

OK, drinking buddies, let’s hear your ideas.

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Tags: Recipes, Cocktails, Holiday Events

Rock the Clubs

Elvis Lives!

Dante’s throws a birthday bash

Posted by: John Chandler on Oct 02, 2009 at 11:00AM Speech Bubble 5 Comments

Photo: John Chandler

What a show! Elvis is a marquee attraction.

View Slideshow »

Happy birthday John Schroder, he who is known far and wide as Elvis.

You know the bird: local color doesn’t get more colorful than Elvis. Schroder himself is a bearded, hulking street singer, who puts his heart and soul into interpreting the works of one Elvis Presley, usually at Saturday Market or some other warm-weather, open-air location. Physically there is no resemblance, but the dauntless Schroder has been belting out the King for more than a decade, occasionally getting a group together called Elvis’s Last Band to play at clubs.

Last Tuesday was the ersatz Elvis’s birthday, and Schroder’s dear friend (and mine, too) Jen Lane of BarFly magazine threw him a hopping little soiree at Dante’s, showering him with a battery of bands, a big plate of cupcakes, and party favors (the whoopie cushion will definitely come in handy). The festivities began with Schroder as a special guest on the Ed Forman Show, a live talk show hosted by local smart-ass Ed Forman, who commands the stage every Tuesday at Dante’s. Elvis appeared right after city councilwoman Amanda Fritz (who was rocking some glamorous shoes) and proceeded to slay the crowd with his amazing repertoire of Star Wars impressions. Note to Elvis: don’t ever do Jar Jar Binks again. Please.

Your humble narrator happened to be in two of the five bands on the bill so I got some commemorative snaps from this totally off-the-hook happening. Have a look—it’s almost like being there.

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Tags: Slideshow, Holiday Events, Elvis

BAR PILOT

Cranberry Sauced

Happy Beerthday!

Halloween Memories

Halloween Spirits

Elvis Lives!

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