BAR PILOT

Take the Fifth

Cinco de Mayo happenings are plentiful

Posted by: John Chandler on May 05, 2011 at 10:00AM 3 Comments

Happy Cinco de Mayo drinking buddies! (It’s also my birthday but that’s not important—unless you’re shopping for presents!) It’s another damp day here in Puddle Town—but if we let every drop of moisture dampen our celebratory spirits, we would be a community of crabby old ladies with yappy little dogs that sit inside all day watching The 700 Club. And that can’t happen on my watch! So here’s an assortment of fiestas, fetes, and fun blowing up somewhere near you.

• The fiesta grande is the annual Cinco de Mayo festival at Tom McCall Waterfront Park, a nonstop tilt-a-whirl of food, fireworks, music, crafts, dance—and wrestling! On Saturday and Sunday a half-dozen masked luchadores will lay the smack down alongside six less exotic grapplers from Portland. If you’ve not witnessed the spectacle that is Mexican wrestling, you’re in for a high-flying display of aerial artistry. Here’s a sample!

• A different sort of eye-catching excitement is in store at Dames and Games at the Bossanova, where some beauteous burlesque babes will be shaking and shimmying, and guests can play Loteria (the Mexican version of bingo) for an assortment of enviable prizes.

• Tomorrow, Dude wannabes can don their most radiant robes and head over to the Bagdad Theater for Cinco de Lebowski, the annual gathering of Lebowski Achievers, for a screening of The Big Lebowski hosted by podcast poobahs Cort and Fatboy.

• Hop on the bus, Gus. Portland’s Queen of the Scene, Jen Lane, will be conducting another madcap tour of local drinking establishments on the Cinco de Drinko del Seis on Friday night. The Bar Pilot has taken this trip on a number of occasions resulting in many fond memories that I can’t recall.

• Keep your mind out of the gutter! Win a passel of prizes by throwing strikes at Grand Central Bowl’s Cinco de Mayo fiesta.

Eat and Drink Specials

• Mexican beers for $2 all day at Olé Olé.

• Oba will be hosting a huge party with flamenco dancers, art, music—and the $5 cover includes two drink tickets for margaritas!

• Tear into tacos and fine farmhouse ales at the Hop & Vine.

• It’s $5 margaritas at all Bruce Carey restaurants.

• Win $50 at the Dixie Tavern’s hot pepper-eating contest. And watch out for the giant beer can piñatas!

Buene suerte, amigos!

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Tags: Holiday Events, Cheap Eats, Cinco de Mayo, Margaritas, Burlesque

Last Minute Gifts!

Suitable presents for the tippler on your list

Posted by: John Chandler on Dec 20, 2010 at 10:00AM 6 Comments

I am a notoriously lousy gifter. When wandering the stores at Christmastime I become hypnotized with possibilities and all thoughts of the actual recipient vanish. My eyes glaze over, and like a crow, I am drawn to the shiniest bauble on the shelf. Perhaps it’s my narcissism or shocking lack of empathy, but I frequently bestow presents on friends and family that would be better suited to… someone like me.

With that in mind, I’m undoubtedly the perfect guy to cobble together a list of gift possibilities for that hale and hearty soul in everyone’s life; the individual who simply looks naked (shudder!) without a mug or a highball glass in their hand. Of course, you can always ignore these notions and simply buy them a spendy bottle of hooch, but I already grazed that pasture last year. I realize this post is arriving rather late in the season. It’s yet another symptom of the careless gifter—sloth. Thanks to Lisa Morrison (aka The Beer Goddess) for not getting riled that I’m freely pilfering a couple entries from her own gift guide. It’s all about the circulation of ideas, folks!

1. Old Lompoc Snuggies. The perfect present for that special someone who can’t always be bothered with pants. You’ll be the nattiest dresser at your house in this handsome and comfy mu-mu embroidered with the logo of Portland’s own Old Lompoc Brewing. Slip it on and commence swilling a C-Note IPA! $25. Available at 5th Quadrant.

2. What to Drink iPhone App. How many times has this happened to you? You’re sitting down to an elegant meal at a posh dining establishment and you’re stymied by wine choices to go with your Lobster Thermidor? Based on the popular book What to Drink With What You Eat by Andrew Dornenburg and Karen Page, this handy application will magically transform you from slob to sophisticate in no time!

3. Oregon Beer Odyssey. Speaking of sophistication, it’s high time you educated your palate to the myriad beer styles available in your local cooler. From amber to zymurgy, Oregon Beer Odyssey’s classes will get you up to speed in all things ale-related.

4. Absinthe Kits. Delve into the mysterious world of the drink known as “The Green Fairy,” referred to as such for its rumored psychoactive properties! Only recently legalized in this country after being banned for nearly 100 years, absinthe preparation is as much ritual as it is routine.

5. 33 Beers Pocket Journal. No more blurry notes on napkins! Now beer snobs have a useful drinking companion who can remember what you did last night. This pocket-sized journal helps you take meticulous notes on the various properties (IBU, ABV, OG, etc) of every ale you’ve ever tasted. Also available at local beer emporiums all over town.

6. Portland Happy Hour Guide. Even yours truly is in awe of Cindy Anderson, Portland’s heroine of Happy Hour. Never again will you have to choke down stale chips or vulcanized chicken wings while unwinding after a miserable work day. 2011 edition now available.

7. Heavy Duty Juicer. If you’re serious about being the best home bartender on the block, then let me introduce you to my little friend. Fresh fruit juice is a requirement for cocktails that will be the life of the party.

8. Ultimate Home Bar Set-up Hello basement tiki bar! Between this and the juicer, you’re ready for anything—including all the new friends you’ll have.

9. Old Man Drinks: Recipes, Advice and Barstool Wisdom Enough with the fancy-pants cocktails! This indispensable primer from author Robert Schnakenberg will have you cranking out sidecars, rusty nails, and monte carlos just like the legendary Jimmie Charters.

10. iPhone Case Bottle Opener. Even if you’re not getting a signal, you can still crack open a cold one—as long as you’re not behind the wheel!

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Tags: Cocktails, Holiday Events, Craft Beers, Bartenders, Gift Giving, New Old Lompoc Brewing

A Shot of Turkey

Baste your bird in booze!

Posted by: John Chandler on Nov 19, 2010 at 11:00AM 6 Comments

Since at least the dawn of time (or perhaps earlier), culinary minds have been pondering various methods for marrying booze and bird during the holiday season; a way to make the Tryptophan coma just a little trippier. Cheer up drinking buddies, your prayers have been answered. I am indeed thankful for the good folks over at the awesome food blog Endless Simmer for this little gem of a recipe.

Since I’m in a sharing mood, I’d love it if you’d send in your own genius ideas for improving the Thanksgiving meal. What’s the perfect alcohol accompaniment? When it comes to pie should it be pumpkin, pecan, or mince? What do you do with leftovers?

Jägermeister Roasted Turkey with Fresh Herbs

1 Fresh Turkey 13-15 lbs.

1 sweet onion cut in quarter

1 carrot peeled and chopped

1 branch of celery chopped

A bouquet of sage, parsley and marjoram

Salt and pepper

6 Tbsp unsalted butter

1 Tbsp minced lemon zest

¼ cup Jägermeister

2 carrots peeled and chopped

½ sweet onion chopped

¼ cup cornstarch stir in ¼ cup water

2 cups chicken stock

½ cup Jägermeister

Salt and pepper to taste

Fresh sage for garnish

• Preheat oven to 325?F.

• Rinse the turkey inside and out and pat dry with a paper towel. Place the onion, carrot, celery, herbs in the turkey and season inside and outside the poultry. Truss the turkey or tie the legs with kitchen string. Place breast side up on a rack in a roasting pan. Spread 2 tablespoons of the butter over the breast. In a small pan over low heat, melt the remaining butter; stir in the lemon zest, ¼ cup of water and ¼ cup of Jägermeister.

• Roast the turkey, basting with Jägermeister butter mixture every 20 minutes, until pan drippings have accumulated, then baste with the drippings. After 1½ hours, add the chopped carrots, onion to the pan and continue to roast, basting every 30 minutes. If the breast begins to over brown, cover loosely with aluminum foil. Roast until the thermometer inserted into the thickest part of the thigh away from the bone registers 175?F, 2½ -3 hours total.

• Transfer the turkey to a cutting board, cover with foil and let rest for 30 minutes before carving.

• Skim off the fat and juices of the pan, leaving the vegetables. Set the pan over medium heat and scrape up any brown bits. Pour 1 cup of chicken stock and stir for 3 minutes. Add the corn starch mixture and the remaining chicken stock; stir until thickened. Pour Jägermeister into the pan and simmer for 1 minute. Strain the Jägermeister Gravy.

• Snip the string, carve the turkey and arrange on a warmed platter. Serve with Jägermeister gravy.

• Serve 12, without leftovers.

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Tags: Recipes, Holiday Events, Jägermeister

Beer! Beer! Beer!

There’s no escape from Night of the Living Ales

Posted by: John Chandler on Oct 20, 2010 at 10:00AM 3 Comments

Graphic courtesy My Two Cents Clothing

My favorite holiday is fast approaching and as you may recall from previous posts, it’s an occasion I treat with the fervor of a rabid Jehovah’s Witness.

Last year I called out for Halloween cocktail recipes and I’ll be dropping some knowledge on that particular subject very soon. In the meantime, I would advise the brew believers among you to make arrangements for Halloween night (Sunday, Oct 31) to attend the Night of the Living Ales pub crawl along NE 28th Ave.

You’ll need to buy a $5 wristband for this auspicious event (find out how here), which entitles the wearer to exclusive beers like Upright Brewing’s pinot barrel-aged brown ale, Double Mountain’s Bonne Idee Avec Kriek (a blend of Saison and cherry kriek beer), and Ninkasi’s Kraken, a strong ale as formidable as its name. The piece-de-resistance is a Peanut Butter Chocolate Oatmeal stout crafted by event organizers. Your host will be the lovely Lisa Morrison, aka The Beer Goddess, whose “Beer O’Clock” radio show broadcasts every Saturday at 3 p.m. on KXL. The crawl begins at Migration Brewing (2828 NE Glisan St) at 8 p.m., followed by stops at Spints Ale House, Beulahland, and Coalition Brewing.

In the words of event founder Ezra Johnson-Greenough, “I designed this pub crawl to be exactly what I would want to do for Halloween—it’s just good clean fun and great beer and drinks without being a wild out-of-control event. Don’t feel you have to wear a costume, though you have a far better chance of winning prizes if you do, and there will be some excellent prizes like gift cards to all the various pubs, T-shirts and more.”

Yes, you should wear a costume as prizes (e.g., brewery swag) will be awarded at each location. Besides, it’s Hallo-friggin’-ween and craft beer is way better for you than some lousy miniature Milky Ways.

Costume ideas? I’m all ears.

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Tags: Events, Holiday Events, Craft Beers, Stumble Zone, Halloween, Ninkasi Brewing, Upright Brewing, Zombies, Spints Alehouse

Patriotic Potables

Try a festive cocktail this weekend.

Posted by: Emma Hall on Jul 02, 2010 at 01:00PM 1 Comments

Everyone’s favorite summer holiday—Fourth of July—is this weekend, and it’s right up there with St Paddy’s Day and New Year’s as an occasion to imbibe. If you’re burned out on popular domestic lagers, you can always go for a local brew (it is Oregon Craft Beer Month after all). But we recommend trying a patriotic cocktail instead. The good people over at Three Olives vodka have again made our day with some inventive star-spangled ideas.

Take the Roman Candle for example:

3 oz. Three-O Berry Vodka
½ Oz. Cranberry Juice
Dash of Grenadine
½ oz. Blue Curaçao

Shake vodka, cranberry juice and grenadine in a shaker with ice. Strain into martini glass. Pour Blue Curaçao gently down the side of the glass so it comes to settle on the bottom.

See? With just a few ingredients you can get an All-American cocktail. If you’re feeling fancy, garnish with the usual cherry, maybe a couple of blueberries on a toothpick or even a tiny wedge of watermelon for that Martha Stewart touch.

Nothing says Independence Day (or the Runaways) like the Cherry Bomb.

1 ½ oz. Three-O Cherry Vodka
4 oz. Ginger Ale
Splash of grenadine

Mix in a glass filled with ice and garnish with a cherry.

You could take this general recipe and run with it: alcohol+plain-colored mixer+grenadine = festive red drink.

If you’re having a fancy soiree (or if you decide to spend more money on booze than on meat at your barbecue—hey, it happens) you could always serve three options of cocktails: a big pitcher each of red, white, and blue drinks.  Perhaps a Strawberry Daiquiri (red), Piña Colada (white), and Blue Bayou (a fruity blue drink made of vodka, blue curaçao, pineapple, and grapefruit juice all blended together).

So, drink up and cheers to America this weekend!

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Tags: Recipes, Cocktails, Holiday Events

Vancouver = Vodka

Catch Olympic fever—and a buzz

Posted by: John Chandler on Feb 19, 2010 at 11:00AM 8 Comments

Liquor company executives aren’t stupid. Why shouldn’t you have Olympic-themed cocktails the next time your pals come over to watch the bobsled finals? No reason at all.

The marketing wizards at Three Olives, an English company that boasts more than a dozen flavors of vodka, sent me the following recipes to not only inspire sports fans to greater heights of fanaticism but also to toast all nations in the spirit(s) of international competition.

See, the five rings represent the five original participating continents in the 1920 Antwerp Olympics. Cripes, you’d think Antarctica could field a kick-ass Winter Olympic squad, but it appears the nation is comprised entirely of couch potatoes. If you don’t appreciate my shilling for Three Olives, feel free to use the flavored vodka of your choice. But remember, they did go to the trouble of inventing these drinks. Sure beats watching the Biathlon sober.

Blue Skis
3 oz. Three-O Grape Vodka
½ oz. blue caracao
1 oz. lemonade
Mix ingredients in a glass with ice

Mountain Mist
3 oz. Three-O Citrus Vodka
½ oz grapefruit juice
½ oz pineapple juice
Splash of triple sec
Mix ingredients in a glass with ice

Black Ice
1 ¼ oz. Three-O Triple Espresso Vodka
¾ oz. premium dark chocolate liqueur
½ oz. orange liqueur
Mix ingredients in a glass with ice

Curling on the Rocks
2 oz. Three-O Raspberry Vodka
½ oz. melon liqueur
½ oz. triple sec
Splash of cranberry juice
Splash of orange juice
Mix ingredients in a glass with ice

Olympic Flame
3 oz. Three-O Cherry Vodka
½ oz. triple sec
1 oz. cranberry juice
Splash of fresh lime juice
Mix ingredients in a glass with ice

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Tags: Recipes, Cocktails, Holiday Events, Sports

Uncanny Craftsmanship!

Miracles grow on trees at Rontom’s

Posted by: John Chandler on Jan 06, 2010 at 03:00PM 2 Comments

Photos by Paul Chandler

I’m not the craftiest bear in the woods, but here are some ornaments I can happily endorse.

I was having a few beers at Rontom’s with my degenerate friends the other night, and couldn’t help noticing that their Christmas tree was still up and twinkling away in all its piney majesty. Upon closer inspection I was tickled to find some inspired homemade decorations lurking among the branches.

A seasonal salute to the staff of Rontom’s for totally nailing the whole recycle, reuse, resparkle ethos. I realize now that I’ve just been phoning it in these last five or six Christmases. Craft night at my house next December!

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Tags: Holiday Events

Embrace the Paradox

The Bar Pilot looks backward and forward

Posted by: John Chandler on Jan 04, 2010 at 01:00PM 8 Comments

Pardon me while I screw on my thinking cap.

I was at Dante’s on New Year’s Eve, awaiting the ceremonial emergence of a fresh 365-day interval. A sparkling clean 2010, as yet untainted by scandal, scuttlebutt, polemics, politics, posturing, and other distractions designed to hammer our collective IQ into the ground like a circus strongman swinging a giant mallet. A flask full of Eagle Rare Bourbon had put me in a reflective mood, and even as I was contemplating another year of cultural kibitzing about beer, bars, and booze, I was bobbing my bean to surf music, a musical genre that hasn’t evolved one whit in nearly 50 years. And then I overheard someone say to the bartender, “Embrace the paradox.” I don’t know if this fellow was ordering a fancy cocktail or what, but it made sense to me at that moment in time. So that’s what I’m going to do.

For this calendar year I’m going to take a few steps back from the daily deluge of stimulus, the media-guided slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, and try to keep my temper in check and the whole picture in focus. Positive and negative, light and dark, yin and yang, Hall and Oates, a recognition and appreciation of opposite forces is clearly the way to go. The polarization of our society, (rich/poor, religious/agnostic, conservative/liberal, etc,) keeps me awake and pacing at night. But thanks to an evening at Dante’s spent guzzling hooch and optimistically looking forward to a new year—with a retro soundtrack provided by Church of Surf, the Romanes (Portland’s premier Ramones cover band), and the caped surf sensations known as Satan’s Pilgrims—I was rewarded with a measure of inspiration, even as I watched post-collegiate hipsters that have never experienced a world without email Sufi dancing to “Pipeline.”

I think it’s worth noting that our very existence contains its own polar opposite, which is not exactly news to students of physics or my old hippie housemates, Hawkwing, and Winter. Our lives are a flicker in time, but prevailing wisdom would have us believe that our souls, life forces, essences, chi, or whatever, are eternal—that is, if you’ve lived an honest life. Today you may believe that panhandlers are lazy, unmotivated bums, and a blight on our fair city. Tomorrow you might see things differently and volunteer to sling sandwiches at Sisters of the Road. We have the ability to change and adapt not only our technology, but our minds, and history has shown us that those incapable of doing so become part of the fossil record. To thine own self be true, but remember you’re another fish in the sea and we’ve all got to swim, eat, and poop here. Whether you like the guy in the turban sitting next to you on the bus or not, don’t for a moment forget that we’re all in this together. Does this make any sense?

Uhm, apropos of nothing, has anyone else who ate the brownies at Hawkwing’s potluck been bedeviled by hallucinations lately?

I would love to hear any epiphanies, resolutions, or deep thoughts on the coming year from you, my incomparable drinking buddies.

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Tags: Holiday Events

Ho-Ho-Hangover!

Where to tipple on Christmas

Posted by: John Chandler on Dec 23, 2009 at 09:00AM 6 Comments

If there was ever a holiday that required the drowning of sorrows, it’s this one. Being alone on Christmas day is right up there with prostate exams on the list of “life’s fun things,” so it’s good to know where the watering holes are located. Have a festive Maker’s and soda, commiserate with your fellow orphans, and maybe pick up a friend to unwrap under the tree. Remember, you’re never alone when the Bar Pilot’s on the job. Thanks to Barfly magazine and Dave Knows: Portland for the expert guidance.

Grand Central Bowl Dreaming of a White Russian Christmas? Here’s a perfect day. Bowl a couple of lines in your bathrobe, and then truck over to Clinton Street Theater for the 9 PM showing of The Big Lebowski.

House of Louie You could try to drink the whole day away, but pardner, I don’t recommend it. Fuel up on House of Louie’s incredibly indulgent BBQ pork omelet instead. Your lifespan will still be shortened, but at least you’ll be momentarily full and satisfied.

My Father’s Place One of my very favorite dives, with stiff drinks, friendly waitresses, and gravy-soaked breakfast served all day. Need some celebrity cred? It was a favorite haunt of both the late Elliott Smith and writer/rocker Willy Vlautin, who knows a thing or two about hanging out in bars.

Rialto Surprisingly good bar food (hot, hot, wings), plenty of pool tables, snuggly booths, and tons of big screens for the sports junkie.

Yamhill Pub One of Portland’s diviest dive bars, I spent a very enjoyable Christmas day there with relatives a few years back while waiting for a showtime for The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. Zero atmosphere, amiable dirt-bag clientele, scorching well drinks, and a swell place to be lost for an afternoon. Place a wager in the celebrity death pool located on the wall! Is Mickey Rooney still alive?

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Tags: Holiday Events

Potable Presents

Gifts for the guzzler

Posted by: John Chandler on Dec 17, 2009 at 10:00AM 6 Comments

I’m working on a comprehensive post about Christmas gift ideas for the beer and cocktail lover (like me!) on your list, but here’s a few to tide you over in the meantime.

Beer of the Month Club: This one’s a little spendy but there are different price plans available. Why not keep that special someone buzzed year-round?

Brandy Flask Smuggler Cane: Walking the dog just got a lot more rewarding. If Fido’s being extra good, give him a nip as well. Now you can attend art openings, lectures, and experimental film festivals with confidence, knowing sweet relief is at hand.

iBartender: For 99¢ you can create the illusion of being a knowledgeable mixologist, ready to whip up a Headless Horseman or a Brandy Alexander at the push of a button or two.

Fear not! There are more awesome gift options on the way. And by all means, feel free to send in your own ideas. What are you getting for the lush in your life?

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Tags: Beer, Cocktails, Holiday Events, Gift Giving, Gifts

Bigger, Better, Beer

Seriously bold brews pour at Ale Fest

Posted by: John Chandler on Dec 08, 2009 at 11:00AM 5 Comments

The Tart Lychee from New Belgium blew my mind. (Below) Fred Eckhardt regales guests with ale anecdotes.

Thanks much to festival director Preston Weesner and super-sudsy publicist Chris Crabb for inviting me to a swell beer-tasting event at the Holiday Ale Festival last Friday. Weesner poured us some of his favorite winter beers and I have to give credit where credit is due. The man has exemplary taste. Thought I’d share a few notes scrawled out on my program to give you an idea of the outrageous ales on tap at the fest.

1. Barrel-Aged Old Baba Yaga is an incredibly flavorful and complex imperial stout from Bear Republic Brewing in Cloverdale, California. This may well be the best stout I’ve ever stumbled across, and certainly the most delicately balanced. The first sip detonates on the palate with traces of caramel, cherries, coffee, and smoky chocolate. It’s like the Black Forrest cake of stouts. Must have more.

2. Jim 2009, a blended barrel-aged old ale, is the result of a tag-team effort between Weesner and our own Hair of the Dog brew guru Alan Sprints. In memory of their mutual friend Jim Kennedy, the two mixed and matched several beers including an English brown ale, and a German bock, with some of HotD’s greatest hits including Doggie Claws, Fred from the Wood, and Blue Dot IPA. Considering the 10 percent alcohol content, it was surprisingly mellow and creamy.

3. The Tart Lychee from New Belgium Brewing in Fort Collins, Colorado, is a tangy sour beer, a type of ale that Weesner believes is going to have a rapidly expanding fanbase, as it provides a welcome contrast to the uber-hops movement. Fruity, refreshing, and tart, with a crackling dry finish, this is sheer excitement in a glass. Is that hyperbole? Yeah, probably. But if this is a taste of brews to come, then bring on the sour!

We were also honored with an appearance from Portland’s resident rock star of the beer set, the ageless wonder Fred Eckhardt, probably the most illustrious local we have in terms of jump-starting our craft beer juggernaut. Among countless other honors, he’s even got a beer named after him, Hair of the Dog’s Fred, and a more luxurious and puissant strong ale you’ll be hard-pressed to find.

There were other noble ales that found a temporary home in my mug and there wasn’t a dud in the bunch. Gads, I love beer! Thanks to all and see you next year!

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Tags: Beer, Beer Festivals, Holiday Events, Craft Beers

It’s the Teacarina!

Bar Pilot’s Xmas list completed

Posted by: John Chandler on Nov 24, 2009 at 01:00PM 8 Comments

What a bunch of lazy layabouts you are. Waiting around till the very last minute before flinging yourself willy-nilly into the Christmas shopping meat grinder. Not me, Charlie. You will not catch me wandering aimlessly through Pioneer Place or Lloyd Center, like a lost soul suffering the torments of the damned in some misbegotten underworld. Nor will I be decked out in a haz-mat suit to ward off the latest sinister flu strain while waiting for bored high school volleyball players to wrap my panicked purchases at Freddy’s. I’ve placed my order and now I just have to wait for it to materialize on my doorstep.

Everyone on my list is getting the Teacarina. See, it’s a teacup and an ocarina, all in one! How many times have you found yourself dispiritedly sipping a hot beverage and wishing you had a wind instrument to toodle on between mouthfuls? Your prayers have been answered.

According to the press release, “The four-hole Teacarina comes in eight lustrous colors from star-dappled dark blue to two-tone metallic bronze. They are sale priced at $18 each (regularly $22) with a set of four available for $59.99 (regularly $88).” www.stlocarina.com/teacarina.html

I’m not in the habit of publicly endorsing gewgaws or gimcracks, but when one encounters perfection, it’s impossible to keep it a secret.

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Tags: Holiday Events, Gift Giving