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Posts tagged with: Gift Giving

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Stocking Stuffers

Last Minute Gifts!

Suitable presents for the tippler on your list

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Christmas-martini-450x299

I am a notoriously lousy gifter. When wandering the stores at Christmastime I become hypnotized with possibilities and all thoughts of the actual recipient vanish. My eyes glaze over, and like a crow, I am drawn to the shiniest bauble on the shelf. Perhaps it’s my narcissism or shocking lack of empathy, but I frequently bestow presents on friends and family that would be better suited to… someone like me.

With that in mind, I’m undoubtedly the perfect guy to cobble together a list of gift possibilities for that hale and hearty soul in everyone’s life; the individual who simply looks naked (shudder!) without a mug or a highball glass in their hand. Of course, you can always ignore these notions and simply buy them a spendy bottle of hooch, but I already grazed that pasture last year. I realize this post is arriving rather late in the season. It’s yet another symptom of the careless gifter—sloth. Thanks to Lisa Morrison (aka The Beer Goddess) for not getting riled that I’m freely pilfering a couple entries from her own gift guide. It’s all about the circulation of ideas, folks!

1. Old Lompoc Snuggies. The perfect present for that special someone who can’t always be bothered with pants. You’ll be the nattiest dresser at your house in this handsome and comfy mu-mu embroidered with the logo of Portland’s own Old Lompoc Brewing. Slip it on and commence swilling a C-Note IPA! $25. Available at 5th Quadrant.

2. What to Drink iPhone App. How many times has this happened to you? You’re sitting down to an elegant meal at a posh dining establishment and you’re stymied by wine choices to go with your Lobster Thermidor? Based on the popular book What to Drink With What You Eat by Andrew Dornenburg and Karen Page, this handy application will magically transform you from slob to sophisticate in no time!

3. Oregon Beer Odyssey. Speaking of sophistication, it’s high time you educated your palate to the myriad beer styles available in your local cooler. From amber to zymurgy, Oregon Beer Odyssey’s classes will get you up to speed in all things ale-related.

4. Absinthe Kits. Delve into the mysterious world of the drink known as “The Green Fairy,” referred to as such for its rumored psychoactive properties! Only recently legalized in this country after being banned for nearly 100 years, absinthe preparation is as much ritual as it is routine.

Absinthe

5. 33 Beers Pocket Journal. No more blurry notes on napkins! Now beer snobs have a useful drinking companion who can remember what you did last night. This pocket-sized journal helps you take meticulous notes on the various properties (IBU, ABV, OG, etc) of every ale you’ve ever tasted. Also available at local beer emporiums all over town.

6. Portland Happy Hour Guide. Even yours truly is in awe of Cindy Anderson, Portland’s heroine of Happy Hour. Never again will you have to choke down stale chips or vulcanized chicken wings while unwinding after a miserable work day. 2011 edition now available.

7. Heavy Duty Juicer. If you’re serious about being the best home bartender on the block, then let me introduce you to my little friend. Fresh fruit juice is a requirement for cocktails that will be the life of the party.

8. Ultimate Home Bar Set-up Hello basement tiki bar! Between this and the juicer, you’re ready for anything—including all the new friends you’ll have.

9. Old Man Drinks: Recipes, Advice and Barstool Wisdom Enough with the fancy-pants cocktails! This indispensable primer from author Robert Schnakenberg will have you cranking out sidecars, rusty nails, and monte carlos just like the legendary Jimmie Charters.

10. iPhone Case Bottle Opener. Even if you’re not getting a signal, you can still crack open a cold one—as long as you’re not behind the wheel!

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Tags: Cocktails, Holiday Events, Craft Beers, Bartenders, Gift Giving, New Old Lompoc Brewing

Holiday Shopping

Booze: The Greatest Gift

Potable presents part deux

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Balvenie

Santa, be a Scotsman tonight.

So, what terrors await thee ’neath the Christmas tree this year? Horrible, horrible clothes? Music from a relative who has no idea what you like? The dreaded “gag” gift? (A Chia Pet is funny once. Once!)

Next time you come around to my place, check out the basement. It’s piled floor to ceiling with useless crapola. It’s gotten to be such a prolific dumping site, that we can’t even find the washer and dryer. Now we’re forced to schlep our clothes to the laundromat where we’re at the mercy of cut purses, drug-addled babblers, escaped lunatics, three-card Monty sharps, and fundamentalist missionaries prepared to debate metaphysics till Doomsday.

The point is, I have too much crap. And approximately 94 percent of my detritus can be traced to uninspired Christmas gift-giving. It’s all there: George Foreman grills, macramé kits, bath robes, magnetic poetry, pogo sticks, bottles of malodorous cologne, snow globes, coffee mugs (I don’t drink coffee, thankyouverymuch), and at least a dozen jigsaw puzzles that have inexplicably ended up in the same box. Which is great if you’ve ever wanted to see the Great Pyramid of Giza located a little closer to the Alps.

Don’t pussyfoot around this year. Get the lush on your list a bottle of something memorable and affordable. For instance:

Aviation Gin Buy local! Aromatic, herbaceous, and shockingly drinkable (straight!) Aviation is a Dutch-style gin distilled right here in the Rose City. Even a gin and tonic, the most prosaic well drink of them all, becomes something altogether more bracing and complex.

Balvenie Single Malt Scoth Whiskey It’s hard to go wrong with a good single malt, but I can tell you that after my girlfriend got me a fifth of Balvenie for Christmas two years ago, I knew it was true love. Yes, a bottle of Balvenie 30-year can retail for upwards of $500, but let’s face it: We don’t love anybody that much. Stick to the 15-year, which is closer to $50. Sweet, smoky, and smooth as a James Bond pick-up line, it’s totally acceptable to crack open this bad boy whilst the rug rats run amok around the tree. Cheers!

Flor de Caña Rum This Nicaraguan spirit company has many superb varieties of rum, ranging from the top-shelf and spendy Centario Gold 18 Year, to the modestly priced 4 Year Gold, which is in the Sailor Jerry/Captain Morgan neighborhood cost-wise. Caramel and exotic spice notes are abundant.

Hardy’s “Whiskers Blake” Tawny Port On a budget this year? Welcome to the club. Fortunately, a bottle of “Whiskers Blake” from Australia will set you back a measly $12 or so. And for the money it’s a respectably rosy and robust after-dinner delight.

Wild Turkey American Honey A bottle goes for around $20, and it’s money well spent. A raft of cocktail pundits raved about American Honey served chilled and on the rocks, but I prefer this velvety honey liqueur (picture a more rustic version of Drambuie) as a crucial additive in a hot drink. A generous pour mixed with a mug of apple-cinnamon Theraflu became my most reliable restorative during an otherwise miserable bout with the flu this season.

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Tags: Wine, Whiskey, Gin, Rum, Local Distilleries, Gift Giving

Christmas list

Potable Presents

Gifts for the guzzler

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Christmas-presents

I’m working on a comprehensive post about Christmas gift ideas for the beer and cocktail lover (like me!) on your list, but here’s a few to tide you over in the meantime.

Beer of the Month Club: This one’s a little spendy but there are different price plans available. Why not keep that special someone buzzed year-round?

Brandy Flask Smuggler Cane: Walking the dog just got a lot more rewarding. If Fido’s being extra good, give him a nip as well. Now you can attend art openings, lectures, and experimental film festivals with confidence, knowing sweet relief is at hand.

iBartender: For 99¢ you can create the illusion of being a knowledgeable mixologist, ready to whip up a Headless Horseman or a Brandy Alexander at the push of a button or two.

Fear not! There are more awesome gift options on the way. And by all means, feel free to send in your own ideas. What are you getting for the lush in your life?

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Tags: Beer, Cocktails, Holiday Events, Gift Giving, Gifts

Holiday Shopping

It’s the Teacarina!

Bar Pilot’s Xmas list completed

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What a bunch of lazy layabouts you are. Waiting around till the very last minute before flinging yourself willy-nilly into the Christmas shopping meat grinder. Not me, Charlie. You will not catch me wandering aimlessly through Pioneer Place or Lloyd Center, like a lost soul suffering the torments of the damned in some misbegotten underworld. Nor will I be decked out in a haz-mat suit to ward off the latest sinister flu strain while waiting for bored high school volleyball players to wrap my panicked purchases at Freddy’s. I’ve placed my order and now I just have to wait for it to materialize on my doorstep.

Everyone on my list is getting the Teacarina. See, it’s a teacup and an ocarina, all in one! How many times have you found yourself dispiritedly sipping a hot beverage and wishing you had a wind instrument to toodle on between mouthfuls? Your prayers have been answered.

According to the press release, “The four-hole Teacarina comes in eight lustrous colors from star-dappled dark blue to two-tone metallic bronze. They are sale priced at $18 each (regularly $22) with a set of four available for $59.99 (regularly $88).” www.stlocarina.com/teacarina.html

I’m not in the habit of publicly endorsing gewgaws or gimcracks, but when one encounters perfection, it’s impossible to keep it a secret.

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Tags: Holiday Events, Gift Giving

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