BAR PILOT

Hot or Not?

Couture Ultra Lounge in Old Town

Posted by: John Chandler on Feb 16, 2010 at 01:00PM 4 Comments

Trucking back to the office after running an errand in Old Town, I stumbled across this place. I peeked inside and goggled over Couture Ultra Lounge’s vast open floor plan with two bars, a raised dining area, ersatz Greek statuary, and some vaguely Moorish banquette seating for VIP chillin’.

My sources tell me that it will be a big hit with the bridge-and-tunnel crowd, much like McFadden’s, Barracuda, and other joints I instinctively avoid, while less well-heeled natives will shun the place like it’s built over an old Indian burial ground. Over at barflymag.com (an indispensable guide to local watering holes) they haven’t posted a review yet, but I heartily endorse their observation that “overuse of the term ‘Ultra Lounge’ is becoming ultra-lame.” Why not “Extreme Lounge” or “Mega Lounge” or “Uber Lounge?”

I’m not sure why Couture’s business cards list the website since there’s nothing on it. Anyone been there yet? Food any good? Is it another example of faux LA velvet-rope wankery? Will I get the stinkeye if I show up in my usual attire of rock T-shirt, jeans, and sneakers? Does Rudy Fernandez hang out there?

So many questions.

Add a Comment »

Tags: Bar Openings

Sprint to Spints

New alehouse has the goods

Posted by: John Chandler on Jan 20, 2010 at 11:00AM 8 Comments

I’m up to my elbows in whiskey at the moment drinking buddies, but I wanted to drop you a quick note about Spints Alehouse, a new bar and eatery at 401 NE 28th Avenue, located in a former leather shop (not to be confused with a leather bar). It’s roomy with a hospitable air, done up in dark-wood pub chic, with a lively bar side, and a more intimate dining space. It’s the latest venture from chef Alyssa Gregg and manager Ted Charak, both formerly of the Teardrop Lounge.

Went there last week with a few amigos and was impressed with the following:

Speedy and friendly service; superb beer selection, strong on Belgian-style brews like Allagash White Ale, my current fave; a sweet assortment of house-made spirits, like a really eye-opening root beer schnapps that tastes just like Hires’ root beer barrel candies; adventurous gastro-pub fare, including a lovely pretzel topped with bacon and a fried egg (pictured).

The last item has the potential to be a culinary cult classic, but it was a bit too salty on first taste. Still, the place has only been open for a few weeks, so I trust this issue will be addressed as soon as the kitchen staff gets a bit more—SEASONING! Damn, I’ve been cracking myself up all week.

Add a Comment »

Tags: Beer, Bar Openings

New Bars = Zero Ambience

So why am I here?

Posted by: John Chandler on Nov 09, 2009 at 02:00PM 15 Comments

This post is kind of a rant. A reasonable rant, but a rant just the same.

It was my intrepid drinking buddy Lucy who made the following vital observation as we were out bar hopping on Saturday night. “The problem with these new bars is that they might as well be coffee shops,” she said. And at that moment everything that had been bothering me about investigating the latest watering holes became crystal clear.

I’ve been to three brand new Portland bars in the last week, and I couldn’t find much to say about any of them. The drinks were fine, the bar menu adequate, the service attentive. So how come I didn’t want to return to any of them?

Because I was bored stiff. None of the rooms engaged me in the slightest. Nothing about these places encouraged me to stay a while.

All three of the bars I visited were sterile, scrubbed, and sorely lacking in any sort of atmosphere. All three were basically just rooms with booze in them. Cement walls, tables and chairs, a few TVs, exposed ducts, and not much else. I’ve been in Kinkos that had more bonhomie. See, if I wanted to drink in a dull, nondescript room, I have my house!

When I was in high school, any safe harbor to sneak a forbidden sip or two was enough. A basement, a park, a tree house, under a bridge, it didn’t matter. Now I require a space that embraces my battered psyche, with a design sensibility that helps diffuse my ever-escalating rage levels.

This is not to say I prefer to tipple in rat-infested hell holes, but you can’t fake heart and soul. What kind of bar is it? Where’s the polished wood accents? Where are the old timers? Where’s the food? (Sidebar: If I go to one more joint where my only chow options are salads and sandwiches, I’m gonna have a kanipshin. Yes, I am aware that starting up a business is expensive and risky, especially in this leaky boat of an economy, but a toaster oven and a lettuce crisper is not a kitchen.)

Note to would-be bar owners: It is crucial that your establishment have an inviting vibe, preferably with seating that you can melt into. Music should be at conversation level. It should have a sense of time and place, an idea, a concept, an aesthetic. Four walls and some chairs aren’t enough. Not if you want my drinking dollar. I need a destination that’s worth getting to.

This is why I bemoan the passing of kitsch-cool spots like Henry Ford’s and the Rose & Raindrop. This is why I like drinking at Dots, or the Matador, or My Father’s Place. It’s also why I like Beaker and Flask. There’s an ineffable warmth. A soul perhaps. A beating heart.

Am I being overly fussy? Wouldn’t surprise me a bit. Am I effectively articulating what’s wrong with the latest crop of bars in Portland? I haven’t the foggiest. Am I a grumpy old fart? Guilty.

I need some feedback. Please chime in with your own opinions. What do you look for in a bar? Should it be more than a stool and a tall boy?

Add a Comment »

Tags: Bar Openings

Space Truckin’

Hawthorne dive blasts off

Posted by: John Chandler on Oct 09, 2009 at 10:00AM 3 Comments

Photo: John Chandler

The formerly dingy dining area in the Space Room gets a space-age makeover.

View Slideshow » Photo: John Chandler

The formerly dingy dining area in the Space Room gets a space-age makeover.

View Slideshow » Photo: John Chandler

What better way to add extra-terrestrial excitement to a room than with actual ETs?

View Slideshow » Photo: John Chandler

This particular specimen once made an appearance on The X-Files, and was acquired via auction.

View Slideshow » Photo: John Chandler

Conspiracy buffs will want to pour over these otherworldly clippings.

View Slideshow » Photo: John Chandler

We didn’t know Andy Warhol painted aliens!

View Slideshow » Photo: John Chandler

Headlines from Roswell! The saucer men have landed!

View Slideshow » Photo: John Chandler

Astronauts, aliens, and all-day breakfast: a recipe for success.

If you put a gun to my head (and you will, trust me) and demanded that I reveal my favorite local dive bars, the Space Room would be on the short list. The snuggly booths, goldfish bowl-sized drinks, and atomic-age murals work as a healing balm on my weary soul. So when I heard that a face-lift was on the horizon, I kind of freaked out.

I’ve seen too many unique and eccentric old rooms transformed into bland, corporate lounges with zero personality. Dude, I can’t drink in a sterile environment! Fortunately, new owner Seth Leavens and I are on the same page. The main bar area is pretty much unchanged: the flying saucer lamps still hover overhead, and the cosmic art remains intact. Instead, Leavens had his design team make over the adjoining Brite Spot, also known as that dumpy little diner area that no one ever sat in. Now the room is opened up and the decor matches the rest of the place. Times 10.

The revamped dining room is chock-a-block with outer space accouterments, including Warhol-style alien paintings, alarming UFO newspaper headlines, and, of course, aliens. There’s a grand opening party tonight between 6–10. Drop by, have a bloody Mary, and help christen the new, improved Space Room.

Bonus! The menu now features breakfast served all day! It seems like such a simple thing, but many bars in town seem to have missed the memo. When you go out drinking, and eventually require a greasy pile of carbs to soak up the sauce, nothing, I repeat, NOTHING works better than eggs, potatoes, toast, and bacon. Get it? Got it? Good.

Get a sneak peek at the makeover in this web-exclusive slideshow.

Add a Comment »

Tags: Slideshow, Bar Openings

One Stop Hops

Beermongers is ready to pour

Posted by: John Chandler on Sep 28, 2009 at 03:00PM 6 Comments

Beermongers is a casual new stop in Southeast Portland for ale lovers with adventurous palates.

(Below) Fans of esoteric brews will spend some serious time perusing the bottled bounty.

Had occasion to drop by Beermongers, a new bottle shop on SE 12th and Division, last Thursday to sample some Guinness Anniversary beer that was on tap. I also drained a ferociously yeasty bottle of Pinkus Organic Munster Alt while eye-balling the inventory. It’s a modest operation at the moment, but co-owner Sean Campbell tells me that plans are afoot for adding a bar and possibly a kitchen to the space. “It’s like a wine shop for the beer crowd,” he says, pointing out that customers can buy exotic beers, pull up a chair and drink them on the spot. There’s even some talk about hosting classes on beer tasting through a still-in-the-works fermentation sciences program at Portland Community College. Man, I’m going back to school!

Campbell adds that the selection is organized strictly by style of beer with offerings ranging from high-profile lagers like Carlsberg and Heineken to an assortment of regional IPAs to more esoteric European tastes culled straight from the monastery. “We’re aiming for good prices and a well-thought out selection,” he says. There are also kegs available, for your next gathering that calls for something more memorable than Coors Light, and the website offers tons of tasting notes and brewing information on each and every beer in stock.

And good news for sufferers of celiac disease. There are four gluten-free beers available.

Beer Mongers
Corner of SE 12th and Division
503-234-6012
Open daily 11 AM – 9 PM

Add a Comment »

Tags: Beer, Bar Openings, Craft Beers

Turning Japanese

Sake, shochu, and more

Posted by: John Chandler on Sep 16, 2009 at 10:00AM 6 Comments

In the mood for some reasonably priced noodles and saké? Miho Izakaya on N Interstate Ave awaits.

Good news for gourmands, adventurous gluttons, and saké sippers: Miho Izakaya, right across the street from the Alibi on N Interstate Avenue, is now open for business.

Co-owner and rocker-about-town Michael Carothers gave me the crucial deets about this new eatery, describing it as similar to a Japanese pub or tapas bar. The food menu, prepared by chef and co-owner Michael Miho, consists primarily of small-plate entrées priced between $2 and $12. And rather than a set of carved-in-stone dishes, the menu will fluctuate depending on what the two Michaels have scouted out at the local markets. Check the chalkboard upon arrival for all the latest tastes—there will be marinated skewers, pickled veggie salads, an assortment of noodles, sushi, and exotic offerings like fried lotus root and bean curd and eel over rice. Just ask for the Full Eel Deal.

On the drinking side (about time, Bar Pilot!), there’s a full bar and a variety of sakés available, but Carothers seems most excited about the shochu, a Japanese clear spirit distilled from buckwheat, rice, or sweet potatoes. In terms of potency, it’s somewhere between wine and vodka, and it’s pretty groovy on the rocks with a little water.

“This place is traditional without being stiff,” Carothers explains. “It’s a very Japanese spot run by very Portland people.” Just save me a couple of eels, buddy!

Hours: Wed-Sun 4-midnight. 4057 N Interstate Ave

Add a Comment »

Tags: Bar Openings, NoPo, North Portland Dining

Name Dropper

A new old bar with a challenging drink menu

Posted by: John Chandler on Aug 27, 2009 at 02:00PM 6 Comments

So what’s this place called? Is it Hound Dog’s? Houndogs (middle), or Terry’s Inn (bottom). Should we vote on it?

I was out carousing in Sellwood the other night and noticed that venerable watering hole Terry’s Inn (4463 SE Milwaukie Ave) has reopened after being shuttered for two years. As longtime lushes can attest, Terry’s, a comfy dive that had been serving up Hamm’s and Budweiser since the Eisenhower administration, was a veritable wonderland of weird, kitschy decor. Year-round Christmas ornaments, a claw machine, even an old coin-operated fortune teller plundered from some ancient boardwalk were just some of the adorable oddities on display.

Sad to report that the knickknacks have all been shipped off to Antiques Roadshow or someplace, and that Terry’s is now called Hound Dog’s. Or is it Houndogs? And the big neon sign still says Terry’s Inn. Sounds like the makings of an identity crisis.

Hound Dog’s (according to Webster anyway) does have one pretty cool gimmick: drink specials that change every two hours. On Saturday, from 10 AM to noon, patrons could order a bloody Mary for a measly $2.50. From noon to 2 PM, it was martini time, again for $2.50. A scotch and soda was available for $2 from 2–4, you could have (a) Sex on the Beach for $3 from 4–6, and from 6–8 it was $2 for a vodka tonic. Things really heated up from 8–10, with a $5 Long Island Ice Tea, and from 10 on all beer was half off.

Theoretically, you could stay from opening to close and spend only $20, depending on the price of beer and your fondness for video poker. But you didn’t hear about it from me.

Add a Comment »

Tags: Bar Openings

Flight Plan

Departure Restaurant + Lounge ready for takeoff

Posted by: John Chandler on Apr 03, 2009 at 02:00PM 4 Comments

In the mood for zuke maguro? Departure is your destination.

I really dig a bar with a concept; a place where you can see actual ideas at work. Sure, you could throw a blanket over an ironing board and call it a bar. You can even stand behind it and dispense Hamms tallboys and questionable advice from the comfort of your own basement, but it’s nothing like wandering into a joint where the average Joe and Jane are transported to some wonderful, otherworldly, elsewhere. Trust me, a whiff of atmosphere helps take some of the sting out of a spendy cocktail.

Speaking of transporting, the hallway leading to the new Departure Restaurant + Lounge on the top floor of the Nines Hotel is eerily similar to The Star Trek Experience, an infuriating attraction I got suckered into in Vegas (which cost the princely sum of $35 for admission, thankyouverymuch). The narrow passage is flanked by funky light panels, reminding us that Star Trek’s vision of the future had an adorable go-go quality to it. (Check out the miniskirts on all those foxy ensigns!)

The dark hallway soon gives way to the Jetsons’ living room, an ultra-brite lounge that strives (successfully, I might add) for an equally alluring retro-futuristic vibe. Designed by hotshot architect Jeff Kovel, Departure resembles an airport bar from the 1960s, right down to the waitresses decked out in mod flight-attendant gear. And though you’re not as high in the sky as the happy hour prowlers over at Portland City Grill, I think the views are better. Prediction: When we’re finally graced with a little warm weather, the breathtaking outdoor decks at Departure will be thick with sun-seeking citizens.

The drinks and the cuisine then proceed to yank the rug out from under anyone anticipating swinging ’60s staples like Harvey Wallbangers and fondue. Once the menus drop you find yourself at Tokyo International awaiting a flight out as Godzilla’s footsteps thunder in the distance. Sake and shochu (a brewed spirit from Japan, similar to vodka) drinks abound, with some half-dozen sake options served either alone or as cocktail ingredients.

I had a Hatori Hanzo (named for the legendary sword-maker in the Kill Bill movies), with Belvedere vodka, sake, cucumber, and a Thai pepper merrily floating on top. It’s like a vaguely tropical and piney martini, that requires the most delicate and disciplined of sipping. The A.E. Doyle combines shochu with a rinse of yamazaki (Japanese whiskey) and orange bitters—a floral and fruity rendition of a manhattan.

I didn’t have time to dine properly, but the dishes being scooted around by the stew, uh, waitresses looked suitably exotic and intriguing. Dim sum, noodles, tempura, and steamed buns were among the more recognizable passersby. We split some appetizers; the avocado rolls, pork shu mai, and a fusion BLT, consisting of a large lettuce leaf supporting a bacon-wrapped cherry tomato, were masterfully prepared, but the minimalist portions had me searching my Japanese phrasebook for “super-size it.”

An excursion to the Departure isn’t a bargain. My cocktail, memorable though it was, set me back ten bucks. But it’s a sophisticated space and constantly surprising, a fantastic spot to take friends and relations from out of town—especially if their flight’s been delayed and they’re buying.

Add a Comment »

Tags: Bar Openings

I Want Candy!

No, it’s not good for you. Deal with it.

Posted by: John Chandler on Mar 17, 2009 at 11:00AM 6 Comments

Right off the bat, I gotta say the tawdry logo for this place had me thinking it was an escort service. An open, heavily lipsticked mouth forms the letter “C” which is followed by “andy” in a breathless, seductive script.

Candy is a high-gloss bistro that opened two weeks ago in the old Mercado location in the Pearl. The interior look is pure futuristic Vegas sports bar (March Madness enthusiasts could do worse), but it just as easily could have been a bar designed for Tom Hanks’s character in Big. The booths come with 20-inch touch-screen monitors for your surfing and gaming enjoyment, and the menu is loaded with all manner of beguiling junk. If you’re feeling ambitious, you can build your own pizza. Or assemble your own burger. I didn’t see any of the customers puttering about in the kitchen, so I would assume this means you can ask for whatever ingredients you want.

But it’s the drink menu that really looks to lure in the whipper-snappers. Like the witch’s gingerbread condo in Hansel and Gretel, it all appears to be super-duper yummy deleesh—with just a whiff of evil lurking beneath the frosting and whipped cream. I’m not sure what I was thinking when I ordered the Death By Twinkie, a towering milkshake with a golden sponge cake crumbled into it, accompanied by a heavy pour of Bacardi, but I punished the bastard. Everyone who walked by stared at me as if I was deranged, and one of my friends announced, “That looks disgusting. You’re not going to drink it are you?”

Well, uhm, yes. I loved every teeth-aching slurp of that hideous parfait. Yes, I realize I was taking three months off my life expectancy. And I’d do it again! No, I will not become a regular. But who among us has not spent a day raging over spreadsheets and infernal deadlines, dreaming of a big boozy milkshake? Pacify your inner child and engage your outer lush at the same time!

The fresh-cut potato chips delivered an earthy crunch, but my friend’s Fountain of Youth (Grey Goose, elder flower liqueur and acai juice) was left untouched after a few exploratory sips. “Too sweet,” she grimaced. Indeed, if you’re lacking a sweet tooth, the drink menu has little to recommend it: the Candy Apple, Sour Caramel Apple, White Chocolate Martini, Lemon Head, and Cherry Cordial are some of the more bizarrely saccharine options.

I didn’t care, though. I was thoroughly engrossed in trivia challenge on the touch-screen, and a scant nine levels later, it was time to bid Candy a fond farewell.

I’d be lying if I said I liked the place, or dug the concept. It’s a temple of indulgence that caters to our most juvenile impulses. But time passes at Candy. There’s no way you can chug a Death By Twinkie (beware the dreaded ice cream headache), and if you start web surfing you’re surely doomed.

Strangely enough, the menu states that on Friday and Saturday nights, patrons must be over 26 to get in. Is that even legal? I wondered. The waitress assured me the OLCC was fine with it. “We’re trying to cater to an older crowd,” she said.

Hmmm. An older crowd in need of a sugar buzz, perhaps? I hope they realize they’re not going to move many Death By Twinkies over the weekend. That is, unless I’m in the neighborhood.

Add a Comment »

Tags: Bar Openings