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Christmas Shopping

Bar Pilot’s Gift Guide #3

Burnside’s bottled brews at Belmont Station

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The aging of beer in sturdy oak barrels that once housed bourbon, brandy, port, and other high-powered hooch is de rigueur these days. But let’s not overlook the sublime simplicity of a nice, fresh ale. Tonight at Belmont Station starting at 6, three of Burnside Brewing’s top beers, created and curated by brewmaster Jason McAdam, will be available in 22 oz. bottles for you to collect and covet (or I suppose you could simply drink them). Take home Burnside’s IPA, Oatmeal Pale Ale, or Stock Ale for yourself, or wrap them lovingly with ribbons and bows for the craft beer connoisseur on your list.

In case you’re wondering, I am especially fond of the Stock Ale, an E.S.B. style blessed with a superb balance of hops and malt. Hopefully Burnside’s Sweet Heat will find its way into a bottle before too long.

This is the third in an ongoing series of Christmas gift posts for the imbiber on your list. From costly to cut-rate, we’ll try to find a budget for every bank account. Any gifts that are not met with an immediate display of genuine enthusiasm can be dropped off at the Portland Monthly offices. Be sure to include the receipt.

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Tags: christmas, Burnside Brewing

Christmas Shopping

Bar Pilot’s Gift Guide #2

Treats from the Cookie Pedalers

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Dude

The Dude abides—and tastes yummy!

In the chaos of all the holiday cooking, who has the time to bake their own delicious cookies designed around a moderately obscure reference from a classic cult film? Yeah, me either. Thank the nondenominational heavens, then, for local cookie goddesses Cookie Pedalers, a local start-up that delivers cookies to your door via bike. If you want to cut down on your seasonal spending and your carbon footprint, order up a dozen or so of “The Dude”, a boozy spin on a classic Russian tea cake named for everyone’s favorite well-meaning stoner protagonist from The Big Lewbowski. This butter cream-infused cookie hides a chocolate-covered espresso bean in its center, and gets topped off with a Kahlua-espresso glaze. (It’s glazed after baking BTW, so the Kahlua is not baked out and adds a real kick!) You can have 15 delivered—in a compostable cup, no less—for a mere $13. Cheap, hooch-frosted cookies biked to your doorstep. Dude! What more do you want, Portland?!

Since December 2009, Cookie Pedalers Teal Smerlinder and Molly McCarthy have been cooking up scrumptious sweets directly from their baking space at Mt. Tabor Theatre and into the hearts (and arteries) of sweet-toothed townies. According to Teal, they strive to offer “everything from vegan to bacon”—and that’s no hype. For the perfect snack for your allergy-prone cousin Sage, “The Hippie Douchebag” is vegan and gluten-free: a delectable sweet coconut-curry macaroon dipped in chocolate. At the other end of the spectrum lies “The PBR (Portland Bacon Roll)” a maple/bacon/chocolate invention that is genuinely (not just ironically) delicious. Cookie Pedalers offers over a dozen varieties, including a 3-lb. cookie cake. Not sure what to get? Try the random assortment sampler plate for a mere $15.

For your out-of-town loved ones, they will also ship orders all across the country for a flat rate. Cookie Pedalers is available for deliveries and catering jobs until December 21, then will reopen after New Year’s.

This is the second in an ongoing series of Christmas gift ideas for the imbiber on your list. From costly to cut-rate, we’ll try to find a budget for every bank account. Any gifts that are not met with an immediate display of genuine enthusiasm can be dropped off at the Portland Monthly offices. Be sure to include the receipt.

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Beer Bulletin

Hail, Hail Winter Ale

Holiday Ale Festival and then some

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Here’s a phrase I never get tired of writing: The 16th annual Holiday Ale Festival gets under way this afternoon at Pioneer Courthouse Square. When the clock strikes two, winter beer worshippers will queue up to get their first tastes of robust brews such as Cascade Brewing’s sour sensation Sang Noir, Fort George’s Kentucky Girl Coffee Stout (aged in Maker’s Mark barrels and infused with Astoria Coffee Company’s Working Girl blend), Upright Brewing’s Provision (a biere de garde or “beer for keeping” farmhouse-style lager), and Widmer’s Peppermint Paddy Porter, enriched with locally sourced peppermint and cocoa powder and cacao nibs.

I’m looking forward to getting reacquainted with Hopworks’ Kentucky Christmas, which was among my most cherished chugs from last year. It’s a brawnier version of their Abominable Winter Ale, which is aged in bourbon barrels in a secret location guarded by a phalanx of gun-toting rednecks. I’m likewise pleased to see a few lighter offerings this year. Lompoc’s Cherry Christmas (5.6 percent ABV), Ninkasi’s Little One (5.7 percent), and Breakside Brewery’s Cranberry Biere de Table (a modest 3.3 percent) will be on tap to serve as a welcome change of pace from the brutal majority of 8-10 percent ABV woolly mammoths that the fest is famous for. There will also be 16 or so highly coveted limited-edition small-batch beers that will come and go very quickly, including Hair of the Dog’s Jim, a blend of four of brewmaster Alan Sprint’s finest beers.

Let’s not forget the fundraising component of the Holiday Ale Festival. Proceeds from the bag and coat check, a “need not be present to win” raffle, and tips from sips for Crater Lake Root Beer, will all go to the Children’s Cancer Association.

Need a break(fast) from all that tippling? On Sunday from 11-1, you can try to wrangle a spot at the 2011 Beer Brunch, which takes place at the upper Sky Bar tent. Here, you can tarry over an assortment of cheeses from Willamette Valley Cheese Co, fresh fruit platters, raspberry croissants, an assortment of pastry, granola, yogurts, and, of course, more exclusive ales.

Normally, five days of strong suds would be enough for anyone, but if you find yourself still hankering some additional hops, be advised that Saturday, Dec 10 is Amnesia Brewing’s own Winter Ale Fest, a smaller shindig with several specialty brews from Amnesia, as well as pours from Burnside Brewing, Lucky Lab, Migration, and Double Mountain, among others. Good tidings, for sure!

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Tags: Beer Festivals, Amnesia Brewing, Holiday Ale Festival

Christmas Shopping

Bar Pilot’s Gift Guide

Indispensable items for the imbiber

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Ottoman

Like many of you, I love to play home bartender—but there’s no point in busting out the top-shelf liquor for every annoying rummy who happens to drop by unannounced. It’s simply not cost effective, and, let’s face it, most of these yokels wouldn’t know the difference between Woodford’s Reserve and a shot of paint thinner. A storage ottoman is the perfect way to keep the premium spirits away from the grubby mitts of frequent freeloaders. For them, I recommend prominently displaying a bottle of Old Crow or Monarch in plain sight. Save the Jameson’s for the folks who matter. Warning: Don’t move the ottoman around too much or the clinking of glass will give you away. Discretion above all else.

This is the first in an ongoing series of Christmas gift ideas for the imbiber on your list. From costly to cut-rate, we’ll try to find a budget for every bank account. Any gifts that are not met with an immediate display of genuine enthusiasm can be dropped off at the Portland Monthly offices. Be sure to include the receipt.

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Tags: Holiday Gifts

Happy Hour

Happy Hour: Sniff Cafe

Of hops and hounds…

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What: Sniff Cafe

Where: 1828 NW Raleigh St.

When: Happy Hour is 5-7, Mon-Sat. Specially priced food and drink items

Why: For dogs and the humans who love them (or just love to watch them) this is your spot. In exchange for a two-drink minimum, your hound can mingle with the mongrels in a supervised 2000 square-foot indoor space for two hours while you look on, dallying over snacks and suds.

I don’t watch sports as much as I used to and it appears my love of canines has filled the void. Seriously, when Super Bowl Sunday is on the horizon, I get excited for the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet. Maybe it’s because I never really had a dog of my own until recently, but I now drive my friends crazy by pointing wildly out the windows of moving cars and yelling, “Look! It’s a dog!” The upshot of this newfound enthusiasm is an endless fascination with bowwow behavior, particularly in large groups of assorted breeds. So Happy Hour at Sniff Cafe is a wonderful thing. The fact that I can sip a craft beer and watch dogs wrestle, chase, jump, and frolic, beats the hell out of ESPN’s Sports Center. And now with the NBA season cancelled, the dog-watching at Sniff is poised to explode.

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Usually there are four or five taps happening at Sniff. Nothing too exotic, but you’ll find Bridgeport, Rogue, and Deschutes among the offerings, with pints running at a reasonable $3.75.There’s also regional wines by the glass ($6-8) or bottle ($22-28). The chow is generally bite-sized nibblers for optimum shareability. I had a pepperoni flatbread pizza cut up into squares ($9) while my friend Lucy made short work of a grilled cheese sandwich that was sliced into quarters, and served alongside four tomato soup shooters ($6.50). Hummus and pita ($4), chips and salsa ($3), and bruschetta topped with blue cheese and honey ($7) round out the selections. The food isn’t brilliant by any means, but it’s perfectly serviceable. The cafe itself, which is attached to the Sniff Dog Hotel, is essentially the snack bar, while the packs of poodles, Pomeranians, and Pekinese rolling and tumbling across the turfed surface, is the featured attraction.

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Drinks for Dogs

Paws That Refreshes

Bowser Beer and Bark Vineyards provide line of pet-friendly potables

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As the holidays start rolling in like a patch of bad weather, we like to remind ourselves that these are the moments to gather family and friends in celebration of another year of misfortune and dismal prospects. It’s a proven scientific fact that suicide rates go through the roof right about now, so in order to counteract the effects of family proximity, it’s likely we’ll get good and soused to drown out Uncle Henry’s yearly tirades about liberals poisoning the drinking water, or Aunt Bessie’s blow-by-blow description of her gastric bypass. Yet while we sit happily sedated, oblivious to all the maddening chatter, certain precious family members end up sadly neglected—and stone-cold sober. No, not the children, we’re talking about Rover and Rags. We’re not monsters, people.

As we all know, the lives of our devoted dogs are exhausting enough! What with all those balls to be chased, bones to be gnawed on, rugs that need soiling—not to mention the constant napping. They really are selfless creatures, and it’s damn well time someone fixed them a decent drink, for those gatherings that call for something a little more upscale than toilet water.

A few days ago, some peculiar news caught our attention here at Bar Pilot HQ: according to the Guinness Book of World Records, Bowser Beer is the first beery beverage that is 100 percent safe for dogs. These pooch-approved pilsners are free of hops (which can be toxic for animals), carbonation, and alcohol. To simulate that great beer taste and color, Bowser Beer contains B-vitamin rich malted barley.

Bowser Beers come in two distinct styles, the Beefy Brown Ale and the chicken-infused Cock-A-Doodle Brew. Rest assured that these quaffs are fit for human consumption for those occasions when you might mistake an Airedale Ale for that Chocolate Stout you’ve been waiting to crack open.

But what about our more refined companions, who wouldn’t dare sip such bourgeois brew? For those pampered pets who spend their days dozing on down pillows, and chewing up the New York Times Review of Books, Bark Vineyards has got you covered. So the next time you and Woofy Allen are about to sit down by the fireplace for an evening of All Things Considered, uncork a fine bottle of Pinot Leasheo, Sauvignon Bark, or a flavorful Barkundy, all of which are described as “an alcohol free au-jus which is poured over furry friends’ meals”. You’ll know Fido’s had enough when he starts going off about the subtle hints of sawdust and orange zest. He may seem like a sophisticated drinking buddy in that smoking jacket, but just remember all those times you’ve caught him eating out of the garbage. By the by, cats too can enjoy a wee nip of these vinos.

Be advised that classy canine cocktails sell for a pretty penny though, with a six pack of Bowser Beer or a nice bottle of Bark Vineyards running around $19.99. You can find one or both of these products at all All for Paws, LexiDog Boutique & Social Club, Dog Gone Clean and at various Zephyr Farm locations.

DISCLAIMER: While this exciting news may have you and Barkimedes ready to paint the town, we here at Bar Pilot still advise that you to take proper precautions so that you and the pup get home safe and sound. Always secure a reliable DD (Designated Dogwalker) and keep a big bowl of water bedside to stay hydrated and prevent pesky hangovers. Talk about a ruff night.

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Tags: Beer for Dogs, Bowser Beer, Bark Vineyards, Wine for Dogs

Sports

New Ducks Fight Song?

Local musician loves U of O

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I would describe the current state of sports fandom to be a little queasy at the moment. There’s the hideous Penn State scandal (no links—it’s just too awful) which is enough to shake the faith of any follower of college football. And in lesser news, it looks like we’ll have to trudge through another dark and gloomy winter without the Portland Trail Blazers to keep us company. Bleh.

Fortunately, I can always count on my most resilient friend Stan McMahon to cheer me up. Stan is a very fine musician from Salem whom I’ve had the privilege to play in bands with over the years, and he’s been a lifelong lover of the Oregon Ducks. Sensing perhaps our collective funk over the state of college athletics, Stan has written a potential new theme song for the Oregon Ducks football team. Maybe if we all “like” it enough, we can get Chip Kelly and company to adopt this catchy little number as the Ducks’ official fight song.

Why am I posting this report in Bar Pilot? Well, sometimes I watch sports in bars, so it stands to reason that I am tasked with the occasional update. Enjoy!

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Tags: Oregon Ducks, Stan McMahon

Happy Hour

Happy Hour: Swift Lounge

It’s dark, low-key, and drinks come in jars

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What: The Swift Lounge

Where: 1932 NE Broadway (former home of Colosso)

When: Jolly Hour is 4-8 Mon-Sat and all day Sun. Selected eats $2-5. Selected drinks $3-6.

Why: For an unpretentious, odd, and genuinely cozy hole-in-the-wall look no further. The black and red decor is cheerfully brooding, the music is none-too-loud, and the regulars are friendly. (One of them boldly started a conversation with me! And it wasn’t a horrifying ideal!)

They have their own way of doing things at Swift Lounge. You will have to adjust to the quirkiness of the house. The surprisingly large menu is a hoot; cocktails are listed as “Dranks” and the word “fer” is used in place of the needlessly formal “for”. Oh, and Happy Hour is called “Jolly” Hour. The cheap chow ranges from the usual suspects (sliders, fries, mac & cheese) to foreign intrigues (kimchi and brown rice, $2! Luke’s Bowl—Cuban beans, brown rice, pulled pork—$5!). I had the sliders (2 for $5) and found them juicy and delicious, with the sweet pickle slice giving it extra bite. The fries were crispy ($2 for a small bowl) and a tad greasy, but nothing we couldn’t handle. I didn’t see it on the menu, but somehow my friends were served a big pile of cauliflower. How strange.

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Obviously the bartender has a sweet tooth. The Malus Manhattan comes with apple cider-infused whiskey and a graham cracker-coated rim. I ordered the “Seasonal Jar” which turned out to be pumpkin-infused vodka, homemade apple cider, ginger syrup, and bourbon whipped cream. My teeth cried out in pain, but my taste buds were too busy dancing the cha-cha-cha to care. There are a half-dozen drinks in jars listed under the heading “Masons.” My friend Lucy ordered the Kentucky Blackbird (a mason jar of Old Crow, peach syrup, peach bitters, and mint, $8) and announced to the table that this was the only drink she’d have to order for the whole afternoon. There are also five cocktails that use beer as an ingredient and they have a decent selection of Belgian beers and ciders. I know! Weird, right?

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The Pumpkin Pie and the Kentucky Blackbird

As it turns out, the thing I like most about Swift Lounge is its brazen eccentricity, a fierce individualism wielded like a scimitar in a world of cookie-cutter conformity. It’s not a spot that will please everybody (it’s divey, but clean) but for the born iconoclast, it could be your tribal watering hole.

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Tags: Happy Hour, Northeast, Swift Lounge

Beer Bulletin

Widmer Seasonals

A bountiful box of limited-edition brews

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I admit to feelings of guilt occasionally; blame it on my Catholic upbringing. As much as I try to lead a vaguely Buddhist lifestyle of gentle compassion and good humor, sometimes my conscience still rumbles in protest. So to make amends, I’d like to thank Widmer Brothers Brewing for the absolutely amazing beer packages I receive on a regular basis. My usual course of action is to happily chug the free beer and then not write anything about it. “They’re the big boys,” I tell myself. “They don’t need the publicity.” But I would be remiss in my duties if I didn’t point out that Widmer is consistently producing damn fine beers with their seasonal releases, Rotator IPAs, and Brothers Reserve series.

For one thing, they arrive in decorative wooden boxes emblazoned with the Widmer logo—several of which can be found in my office performing various tasks (receipt receptacle, charger stand, monitor boost). The presentation is flawless, My goodness, the shipping expenses alone must be considerable.

My latest delivery contained two 22-oz bottles of a new limited edition winter beer, the Barrel-Aged Brrrrbon, a 22-oz bottle of the new Lemongrass Wheat Ale, and a 12-oz bottle of their latest IPA in the Rotator series called O’Ryley IPA. A few words on each:

Barrel-Aged Brrrbon 2011: It’s a much smoother quaff than I’m used to for a winter beer that’s spent time in the barrel. I split a bottle with an old friend who couldn’t believe it was a brawny 9.4 percent ABV. The caramel and toffee notes from the malt are front and center, but the judicious use of hops during the second fermentation gives the beer a buoyancy and lightness that you don’t typically get with a winter warmer.

Widmerbox

Lemongrass Wheat Ale: Another winner from the Brothers’ Reserve series (which means once it’s gone, it’s gone for good), the Lemongrass Wheat is a flavor festival (sorry, I’ve been watching too much Guy Fieri) in a bottle. The combination of lemongrass, muscat grapes, and champagne yeast produces something close to a sparkling ale with a formidable citrus kick. Thus far I’ve been quite pleased with some of the new fruit-forward beers I’ve seen from the locals (Citra from Widmer and Summer Squeeze from Bridgeport) and the Lemongrass Wheat is another example of a balanced brew with fruit characteriestics. Here, the fruit profile works in context with the malts and hops, rather than announcing itself as the star of the show. And at 9 percent ABV it packs a punch.

O’Rylely IPA: This is the third release in the Widmer’s Rotator Series, and I liked it more than the Falconer IPA (lackluster hoppiness), but not as much as the X-114 (very lively flavors). The addition of rye gives it a fun, prickly mouthtaste while the hops maintain a more restrained presence. Available through January.

Both the Brrrbon and the Lemongrass likely retail for $12-plus, which seems like a lot of dough, but these definitely qualify as special occasion beers, and they each come in an individual box for easy Christmas wrapping.

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Tags: Widmer Brothers Brewing, Bourbon Barrel-Aged

Halloween Fun

Halloween Hijinks

A cocktail and a game for your seasonal soiree

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Jason

Welcome to another frightening Halloween post. This makes number three—time sure flies, huh? Longtime readers will recall my two previous posts (here and here) in which we discussed scary seasonal drinks appropriate for either an impending Halloween shindig or for a night on the couch ignoring the doorbell while stuffing your face with Kit Kats and marinating your mind with a bunch of gory fright flicks.

Here’s a potent one, that’s basically a modified manhattan.

Jason Takes Manhattan

2 oz whiskey
1.5 oz apple cider
2 tablespoons pumpkin ice cream
1 dollop of maple syrup
1 dash cinnamon
Cinnamon stick for garnish
Nutmeg for garnish

Mix ingredients in cocktail shaker with ice. Shake well and strain into martini glass. Garnish with cinnamon stick and/or nutmeg.

But what good is a cocktail without an awesome Halloween party game? I “borrowed” this one from www.drinkoftheweek.com, and it’s ideally suited for watching a whole evening’s worth of hack-and-stack, dead teenager movies. Anything from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th, or Halloween oeuvre should work swimmingly. I guarantee you’ll be totally hammered well before the closing credits roll.

Take one drink every time:

• We see the killer but the character on screen can’t.
• The victim runs upstairs instead of out the front door.
• Something or someone darts quickly in front of the camera causing the main character to turn around or look up
• The one black character hanging out with a bunch of white kids gets killed.
• There’s an “omigod” fake scare shortly before a real one.
• One character comforts another and assures them “it’s all over now.”
• Anyone drinks alcohol, smokes pot, or engages in premarital sexual activity

Take two drinks every time:

• The killer is apparently dead but rises to chase and stab again.
• A character trips while being chased through the woods.
• Characters decide to split up rather than stick together.
• A body tumbles out of a hiding place scaring the bejeezus out of still-living characters.
• A character says “I’ll be right back.”
• A cell phone either can’t get a signal or runs low on power.
• A character hides under the bed or in a closet and witnesses the killer murdering one of the other characters.

If any of my drinking buddies have their own suggestions for drinks, games, costumes. hors d’oeuvres, or what have you, leave ’em in the comments section. Boooooo!

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Tags: Cocktails, Halloween, Drinking Games

Mixology 101

Portland Cocktail Week in Review

Our glasses empty, our livers bruised, we soldier on

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Photo: Elizabeth Lepage

Lacy Hawkins (Luc Loc/Marriott)

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Lacy Hawkins (Luc Loc/Marriott)

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Missy Cross (Sun Liquor, Seattle)

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Melissa ‘Missy’ Cross given the customary victory champagne soaking.

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Sam Coniglio demonstrates the ‘Cosmobot Drinkbot’

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The ‘Lonestar One’ drink making robot from Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories.

The things we do for you readers! It was a long weekend of boozing and schmoozing hard work covering Portland Cocktail Week, but I return triumphantly to distill (couldn’t help myself!) the best the week had to offer. However, my liver is going to need a vacation. Nothing stronger than Fresca for at least a fortnight.

Friday and Saturday was all about seminars, with attending bartenders filling up make-shift classrooms in the courtyard of the Jupiter Hotel and the basement of the Leftbank Annex. The classes offered the opportunity for working publicans to keep up on the latest innovations in the bartending world, while also emphasizing that it never hurts to catch up on the basics.

Elayne Duke, brand ambassador for Diageo, a leader in the spirits business, conducted a session focusing on the history of drinking rituals from around the world. While she covered the ancient traditions of toasting ranging from the Egyptians (to honor the dead), Romans (boozed up before battle) and Greeks (the gods apparently only paid attention during happy hour). I jotted down a few cocktail party-worthy tidbits for you to slip into conversation.

• Fernet (a bitter digestive) owns 75 percent of of the world’s saffron crop. Because of this Fernet actually controls the market price.
• San Francisco consumes 50 percent of Fernet in the world. It was also the only spirit legal during prohibition, as it was marketed as medicine.
• Argentina’s national drink? Fernet and Coke
• Canada consumes over 300,000 Bloody Caesars a year.
• Over 80,000 Pimms Cups are sold during the Wimbledon tournament each year.

The endless buffet-line of shots became an endless blur, but at least one taste left a serious impression on my mind; the bourbon pickle back. While Russians are known to mix a little pickle juice into their vodka shots, it appears our cocktail brethren on the East Coast have taken on the custom of chasing shots of bourbon with the brine at the bottom of the gherkin jars. Since I’m a fearless reporter who will live 10 lifetimes, I downed the neon green concoction to find…it kind of works. The first wave of salt and pickle brine hitting the tongue is off-putting, until you realize the burn of the bourbon vanished without a trace. The aftertaste isn’t even half bad. I probably won’t be repeating this stunt anytime soon, but it’s an experience worth trying.

Angus Winchester, founder of Alconomics, took a look at trends in the world of drink-making with a seminar entitled Global Bartrending. One of the most intriguing things I picked up during the hour was the introduction of the Perlini Cocktail Carbonating System. Think of it as a cocktail shaker on steroids, a pressurized system that increases aroma without the risk of diluting the cocktail.

Winchester also covered the cocktail as culinary inspiration, referring specifically to The Aviary in Chicago. All the bartenders on staff are former chefs, and the cocktail menu is replaced with a flavor-progression tasting menu. But their main creation of note is the “Porthole,” a tea kettle-inspired system that locks multiple flavors and textures into a glass vessel of whiskey and vermouth. As the mixture ferments over a meal, the drink becomes a constantly evolving experience.

Representatives of Ladies United for the Preservation of Endangered Cocktails (LUPEC) held a seminar Saturday morning entitled Ladies Behind Bars, which examined the complicated history of female bar owners and bartenders, from Medieval England through Prohibition, and the social changes that evolved along the way. More thought-provoking fodder:

• By 1690, over half of the 45 issue liquor licenses in the city of Boston were owned by women.
• The Bunch of Grapes Tavern, owned by Rebecca Holmes, would become the central gathering point for revolutionary thought, and the birthplace of the Sons of Liberty.
• Women continued struggling to have the right to not only tend bar, but operate them as owners as late as the 1970s.

Misty Kalfoken of Drink in Boston treated us to an in-depth tutorial on one of the more misunderstood spirits, Mezcal. Guess what? It’s no longer the hangover nightmare of college freshman everywhere, and there’s nary a worm in sight. The rich history of spirit creation passed on from communities throughout Oaxaca, Mexico would make any micro-distiller’s heart melt. A recent agreement made with Gemini Wine & Spirits has brought Mezcal down to more wallet-friendly prices. For the cautious yet adventurous tequilla aficionado, try Tobala brand. Sweet, mango and cinnamon notes help cut through the heavy smoke flavor produced by the Mezcal . It’s a good starting point.

The much talked about Robots Vs. Humans bartender battle was held in a makeshift tent in the courtyard of the Jupiter Hotel on Saturday night. The challenge featured three mixed drinks from Cosmobot Drinkbot, Evil Mad Science, and Chasis: the Drink Serving Robot. These were countered by three specialty cocktails prepared by flesh-and-blood folks; Matt Mount, Alise Moffat, and Evan Kinkel of House Spirits Distiller, and Brooklyn-based Hal Wolin. For those preparing for the coming of our robotic overlords, you can breathe a sigh of relief. The human race continues to dominate the cocktail-making world, though it was still fun to see a dry-ice laden cocktail created by a rocket-shaped robot.

However, the unquestionable highlight of the weekend was the inaugural Portland Speed Rack—one can’t deny that Cocktail Week organizers really went out with a bang this time around.

What is Speed Rack you ask? It’s a pedal-to-the-metal battle royale of speed drink-making featuring the best female bartenders from the Pacific Northwest (and one New Orleans competitor). The competition is the brainchild of Ivy Mix and Lynnette Marrero of LUPEC New York, who wanted to find a fun way to celebrate not only the best barmaids in the country, but also raise money for breast cancer research.

After countless speed trials, the top eight fastest lady bartenders were paired off in a four semi-final tournament format. Each head to head bout saw both bartenders pumping out four cocktails hand picked by the all-star judges panel of Audrey Saunders (Pegu Club, NY), Misty Kalkofen (Drink, Boston), Charlotte Voisey (brand ambassador, William Grant and Sons) and Portland’s-own diva of drag, Poison Waters. While speed was the key, so was consistency, with judges giving time-based penalties for drinks deemed too warm, unbalanced or outright disgusting.

At the end of it all, it was a Cascadia Cup: Cocktail Edition as Portland’s Lacy Hawkins, who tends bar at the Courtyard Marriott, went one on one with Seattle’s Melissa “Missy” Cross. With lighting speed, the two pumped out a mojito, martini, Clover Club and Agave-style Old Fashioned with a raucous crowd cheering them on. When it was all said and done however, our neighbor to the north took the prize with Missy Cross claiming victory. The grand prize for the event is a free trip to New York sponsored by St. Germaine, where Cross will go on to compete in the Speed Rack Nationals in May.

In true Portland fashion, event organizers finished things off by taking several bartenders for karaoke and strippers at Devil’s Point for a final blow-out. We know how to keep it classy.

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Costume Opportunities

Halloween Happenings Part II

More Halloween hot spots

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Vopera

Here’s all the Halloween parties, pageants, and shindigs we didn’t have room for in the last post. So between this and Allison Jones’s Eat Beat planner, you really should have no excuse for sitting out this horrifying holiday.

Jason Webley’s Halloween Spectacular
Thursday, Oct 27

You can’t throw a rock in this town without hitting a rambling anarchist jug band collective of some sort—that’s why it’s so refreshing to see a street musician with the drive and talent to back up his passion. Based out of Seattle, this college-educated dreamer quit his day job and headed out on the road with nothing but the accordion on his back and a dream in his heart. Webley has traveled the world, produced five of his own albums, and collaborated on Evelyn Evelyn (http://www.evelynevelyn.com/about.html) with Amanda Palmer of Dresden Dolls fame. With a salty voice, pirate aesthetic, and decadently visual lyrics, Jason’s gorgeous songs sound like Tom Waits after he was carried away and raised by gypsies. Spectacular is a pretty spot-on adjective for this eve of pre-Halloween gypsy-folk-punk antics.
Wonder Ballroom. 8 pm. All Ages. $10 in advance/$12 at the door.

Soundstage Rhythm Orchestra’s Macabre Ball
Friday, Oct 28

What’s going on over at the Bossonova Ballroom? Oh, nothing much. Just Portland’s 24-piece “dance orchestra” playing totally tight tunes from the 1920s to the present. The largest orchestra of its kind on the West Coast, the SRO will be playing everything from jump jazz to disco, rumba to fox trot, and anything else that will motivate the monsters to mosh. Not adorably macabre enough for you? Ghostly burlesque characters also will haunt the stage throughout the evening, accenting the live music with live (dead?) movement. This is a masquerade affair, so put a little thought into your attire for the costume contest.
Bossanova Ballroom. Doors at 8pm. $15 advance/$20 at the door. 21+

Fright Night: A Halloween Circus
Friday, Oct 28

Presented by Night Flight Aerial Art Studio, this evening of airborne antics includes death-defying turns on aerial silks, trapeze, and trampoline. Rumor has it there will be a mummy contortionist and a strongwoman Bride of Frankenstein amongst the dozen or so performers, so get ready for a hair-raising show of breathtaking body-bending. Minors ok when accompanied by a parent or guardian.
Alberta Rose Theatre. Show at 8, Doors at 7. $20 advance/$24 at the door

Wicked Awesome: Big Homo Halloween Party & Queer Cover Bands
Friday, Oct 28

This flamboyant fiesta is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. An assortment of dangerous DJs, drag queens, and queer cover bands will be rocking two separate dance floors. And yes, there’s a costume contest so don’t even think about showing up without a glittery guise.
Rotture and Branx, 315 SE Third Ave. 8pm. 21+

Midnight Serenaders Halloween Bash
Saturday, Oct 29

Portland’s Midnight Serenaders will set a swinging mood with some vintage hot jazz at their annual soiree. Wear your Halloween best and whirl around the dance floor to lilting yet lively tunes. This year the lovely Libertine Belles, an old-timey vocal trio are on the bill (ask them to play “Rum and Coke”), and the festivities are going down at the opulent Secret Society Ballroom. Picture the Serenaders’ vampish beauty Dee Settlemier crooning in a haunted cabaret while you get better acquainted with the flapper or dandy of your choice. And don’t forget to try a “zombie,” the drink special of the night. Nothing like a little moonshine and mischief to celebrate All Hallows Eve.
Secret Society Ballroom. 116 NE Russell. 9pm-12am. $10 advance/$15 door. 503-493-3600 brownpapertickets.com

Transylvanian Voodoo Ball & CD Release Party
Saturday, Oct 29

The nattily attired Vagabond Opera celebrates the CD release party for its new album Sing For You Lives with special guests Chervona. Both bands are adept slingers of sizzling gypsy jive and frenzied Eastern European dance music. Whatever happened to the Transylvania Twist? Displays of fire dancing, belly dancing, and Dino Tarot will round out the evening.
Star Theater. 9pm, doors at 8pm. $15 advance/$20 at the door.

Ak0003web

DJ Anjali and the Incredible Kid

Ninth Annual Bollywood Halloween Bash
Saturday, Oct 29

Portland’s ambassadors of Indian beat music, DJ Anjali & The Incredible Kid, host a colorful and cadaverous soiree that promises sights and sounds unlike any other. The costume contest alone is worth the price of admission.
Someday Lounge. $10 with costume/$15 without




Ninth Annual HOWL
Saturday, Oct 29

This Halloween benefit for City Repair Project is a crazy all-nighter dance party with two floors of DJs, a haunted house, a graveyard, and many more ghoulish delights.
Branx & Rotture, 315 SE Third Ave. 9pm-5am. 21+ only w/ID. $26-30.

In the Crematorium II: An All Hallow’s Eve Night of Costume and Dance
Saturday, Oct 29

A Halloween party set in an ornate, funky funeral home-turned-venue? How perfect. DJ Cooky Parker, prodigious punks the Angry Orts, and This Charming Man, a Smiths tribute band will supply the melodies.
The Woods 6637 SE Milwaukie Ave. 8pm-close. 21+. $10

Dia de los Muertos: Weekend Celebration
Oct 29-30

You don’t have to be Wednesday Addams to play “wake the dead”! You can celebrate memories of the dearly departed at this decidedly dark, though family-friendly, traditional Mexican festival. Activities include altar-building and displaying, Sugar Skull decorating, free hot chocolate and snacks, a raffle and more! Don’t miss your chance to dress up and rattle around Pioneer Square with all the other skeletons for the big Sunday parade! All events are downtown and free.

Portland Zombie Walk 2011
Sunday, Oct 30

If you see someone with a drippy facial wound carrying a “Brains, Not Bombs!” sign, hopefully they’re part of the PDX Zombie Walk. That’s right, the event you’ve been dying for all year is finally upon us—everyone’s favorite leisurely zombie stroll around town is back for another year of morbid revelry and cheer. The event is free, open to everyone (kids, dogs, living, dead, catatonic). The route will be posted shortly before Sunday. Thrill The World Portland will be performing an encore of Michael Jackson’s Thriller dance, the Voodoo Doughnut Van will be around to distribute tasty treats, and “Niall’s Zombie Control Service and friends” will provide security, guides and crosswalk aides. Festival organizers advise you to “keep your blood and guts to yourself”, just like mom taught you.
Starts and ends at Hollywood Vintage, 2757 NE Pacific St. Noon-4. Free. All Ages

PDX Freak Show
Sunday Oct 30

This particular gathering of weirdos is a way to give props to the propmasters, actors, directors, editors, costumers, composers, and everyone else who plays a part in our bold and vibrant film community that’s been a brewin’ in Portland over the past decade. This cinematic soiree features costume. CGI, and special FX contests, with prizes supplied by Voodoo Doughnuts. Who knows? You might meet someone who actually wants to read your screenplay. This event is a benefit bash for the Children’s Cancer Association.
1512 W Burnside St. 8pn-2am. 21+.

Dead Rockers Halloween Party and Dead Rockers Costume Contest
Monday, Oct 31

Come dressed as your favorite deceased rock deity and thrash to an excellent band lineup. East End, known for its rock n’ roll clientele and home to the “evil Rod Stewart” hairdo, even promises a mysterious performance by one of “the deadliest rockers around.”
East End 203 SE Grand Ave. 9pm-close. 21+ only w/ id. $5.

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Tags: Halloween, Someday Lounge, Dance Party

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