BAR PILOT

Ale Alert!

Cold ones for cold weather

Posted by: Sarah Moore on Jan 11, 2012 at 01:00PM 2 Comments

The first course for Full Sail’s January Brewmaster Dinner will feature proscuitto-wrapped melon with eggs and sausage.

As the bright lights of the holidays fade and with several gloomy months of winter stretching before us, we enter that extra-Portlandy time of year where fuzzy slippers become a necessity rather than a luxury, the rain on the roof gets a little less romantic, and the public breaks out in a bad case of the flannels. The solution, of course, is beer, and thankfully January’s calendar is more than up to the task.

Full Sail Beermaker Dinner

In a whimsical return to childhood tradition—belied only by four servings of beer—the Jan 13 menu will feature entrees breakfast for dinner. Pop in the car and and head to Hood River (just over an hour away) to experience four AM-inspired courses, courtesy of Full Sail Pub chef Jeff Baldo, paired with ales from brewmaster Jamie Emmerson, as part of their Brewmaster Dinner series. On offer: soft-boiled eggs, crab cake benedicts, pork chops with breakfast potatoes, and blueberry blintzes. Held the second Thursday of every month during fall, winter, and spring, the dinner takes place in the tasting room & pub, costs $30 per person, and runs from 5 PM until they run out of grub.

Second Annual Buckman-Kerns Brewfest

Brewers of Portland’s Buckman and Kerns neighborhoods unite! For the second year running, local breweries will converge to pour some of their most captivating creations, as well as unveil a few new ones on Jan 15. Gracious host EastBurn – a pub that’s long on atmosphere, not to mention Northwest beer, wine, and spirits – will be slinging its award-winning victuals all afternoon. Participants this year include Lucky Labrador, Cascade Brewing, and Burnside Brewing, among other distinguished guests. Admission is $10, which includes 4 tickets (tickets are $1 each; one ticket gets you a taster, four for a pint) and a real Brewfest pint glass…not plastic, so your memories won’t melt in the dishwasher.

Flat Tail Brewing Co. Mustache Rye’d Red Release Party

Girlfriend hating on the mustachio lately? Head somewhere your facial hair will be appreciated, like this bangin’ stache-themed bash, complete with trivia, spoils, and booty, and all the Rye’d Red you can possibly swallow. Brewed with Weyermann rye, Munich malts, and an array of Willamette Valley hops, this sturdy little brew from Corvallis’s Flat Tail Brewing (winner of the 2011 KLCC Microbrew Festival People’s Choice Award), is sure to take everyone for a ride with their showcased beer, available on draught and in 22s. The event is going down Jan 19 at Roscoe’s, Montavilla’s happening home of the “Giant Jenga.”

CellarFest 2012

If you invited all your favorite craft brewers to a party, and they each brought one of their most delicious barrel-aged beers, the result would be CellarFest 2012. Featuring a roster of mellowed brews Bailey’s Taproom has been “sitting on for a while,” the party will kick off at 4 PM on Jan 21 with 4- and 10-oz. pours, and will continue until midnight. Among those making appearances will be brews from Laughing Dog, Lagunitas, Sierra Nevada, and Deschutes Breweries. Admission is not required this year, and though no souvenir glasses or tokens will be provided, for $25 one can buy a calmer experience, slipping in at 2 PM and enjoying more space as well as the reinstated glass and tokens.

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Tags: Beer Festivals, Roscoe's, EastBurn, Bailey's Taproom

Worst Beer in the World

Ratebeer.com lists 50 bogus brews

Posted by: John Chandler on Jan 09, 2012 at 10:00AM 14 Comments

In keeping with the spirit of the season (making endless lists, that is), several thousand members of the ratebeer.com community cast their votes for the Worst Beers in the World poll. Dominated by watery light beers and corrosive malt liquors, there are some intriguing inclusions. For example, the folks at Keystone might want to consider upgrading their corporate mascot, because the presence of mustachioed man of the people, Keith Stone, ain’t cutting it. Keystone Light came in at No. 17 on the list, and Keystone Premium was No. 20.

The absolute bottom of the barrel, apparently, is Olde English 800 3.2, a less potent version of the high gravity lager that’s the choice of hopeless alcoholics and buzz hunters on a budget. As a former imbiber of “OE,” I can’t say that I’ve been introduced to the 3.2 style—nor would I want to be. See, the only reason on God’s Green Earth to drink Olde English is for its 7 percent alcohol by volume. It’s an affordable method of getting your drunk on, if that’s the goal you had in mind for the evening. It’s a harsh, hard, malty brew, that nonetheless, tastes a bit better than similar high-octane swill produced by, say, Camo Brewing, another Miller product that gets my vote as the absolute worst beer I ever tasted. It’s the only one I can remember spitting out, anyway. Lest you cast me as a suds snob, I will point out that I have a certain degenerate fondness for Colt 45 malt liquor. Just like Billy Dee Williams.

What do you think, drinking buddies? What’s the worst beer you’ve ever sampled? Name names and provide tasting notes.

Here’s my review of Camo Genuine Ale. “Rather than coming from a brewery, I think that Camo Genuine Ale began life as some kind of industrial solvent that removes rust from barges. After one drink I was terrified about the state of my health, as if I’d introduced a deadly virus into my system as part of a paid experiment. Best advice? Sobriety.” Your turn!

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Win A Basement Bar!

Widmer Brothers gives away a Kegerator

Posted by: John Chandler on Jan 05, 2012 at 03:00PM 3 Comments

I don’t know about you, but the fact that my basement does not have its own bar fills me with an all-consuming rage. I work my darn fingers to the bone for a number of hours each day, only to come home to a few measly beers stuck haphazardly in the vegetable keeper. Instead of retiring to the comfort of my sumptuously appointed basement bar, I’m forced to quaff a Genese tall boy standing up in the shower while my dogs howl their grievances out in the hall. This is no way for a man to live! But there’s light at the end of my tunnel of despair.

The generous folks at Widmer Brothers Brewing are offering me (and you too, I suppose) the chance to win a primo home bar of my (your) very own. Just head over to the Widmer Facebook page and enter to win once per day. The drawing is scheduled to be held May 14, and the lucky winner will receive a Widmer Kegerator bar (made from reclaimed wood!) and a bunch of Widmer glassware and bar tools, valued at $3000. Think of it: A bar that never closes in your own house. Dare to dream, people!

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2011 in Review

In which we praise recent developments.

Posted by: John Chandler on Jan 04, 2012 at 11:00AM 8 Comments

A beautiful sight: A quintet of quality tacos from Robo Taco.

It’s as inevitable as the dust that gathers around the new treadmill gifted to you by your significant other. You didn’t honestly think that you’d escape early January without one of those pesky year-end lists from Team Bar Pilot, did you? Well, perish the thought, because we’re about to sashay down memory lane with some of the drinks, eats, trends, and bars that, in my opinion, did things right in 2011.

Best Happy Hour: Gold Dust Meridian. For those of us concerned with making the best use of our time while assigned to duty on this here planet, Gold Dust Meridian’s extremely generous happy hour (from 2-8 daily) is reason for a ticker-tape tango. You certainly owe it to yourself to unwind with a smoky Meridian Manhattan (Rittenhouse Rye, Peychauds bitters, brandied cherries, $8) and the Trio, a crusty grilled-cheese sandwich, tomato soup, and salad for a measly six bucks.

Best Cheap Eats: Robo Taco. I never, ever thought I would get carnitas (braised pork) tacos that were superior to those provided by taco wagon Lindo Michoacan at SE Division and 33rd. Robo Taco, a recently opened taqueria on SE Morrison, has accomplished this feat. With their diabolically deceptive heat, crispy finish, and depth of spice, these $2 tacos are best ordered by the dozen. The posole, a rich pork and hominy soup, is like the Mexican version of pho, a hearty bowl of steaming comfort that blossoms in flavor with the addition of house hot sauces. Bonus! It’s open till 3:30 in the morning on weekends! I envy anyone who’s yet to explore the Robo Taco menu.

Most Welcome New Cocktail Bar: Rum Club. The seriously high level of skill and craft present in top-notch tropical refreshers like the Serpent & the Rainbow (Bacardi 8 &
Flor de Caña Rum, pineapple syrup, apricot, and lime) and the downright delightful Ti’ Punch (J.M. Blanc Rhum, turbinado sugar, and lime) makes this cozy little joint a required stop, one that’s a bit more accessible than the thatch-heavy Disneyland that is Trader Vic’s.

Most Welcome New Beer Bar: Bazi Bierbrasserie. Sorry, I’m showing some favoritism for my ’hood on this one. Co-owners Eric Bottero and Hilda Stevens have not only been knocking it out of the park with genuine hospitality, hustle, and some 17 taps dedicated to Belgian-style beers, but their innovative beer cocktails like the Hepburn (Stoli Vanilla, Grand Marnier, Delirium Nocturnum, orange bitters, and a splash of champagne, served up) are not to be missed. And the French fries are rapturously crunchy twigs of salty joy.

Best cocktail: The barrel-aged Negroni at Clyde Common. Ordinarily, a Negroni is just a shade too bitter for my tastes, but aging the ingredients (gin, Cinzano sweet vermouth, Campari, orange peel) in Tuthilltown whiskey barrels for a couple of months works wonders, sculpting the sharp edges of the Campari into something altogether more expansive and glorious. I had several intriguing mixed drinks this year, but I returned to this one on several occasions, and I’m glad that I did.

In conclusion, it does my heart good to see a spirit of fearless exploration so present and pervasive in Portland—whether it’s beer cocktails, the aging spirits, or those stunningly sour beers, our preponderance of good press is proof that tastemakers throughout the nation look to us for inspiration. Your turn, drinking buddies: Let me know if you experienced any breakthrough moments with drinks, food, happy hours, service, atmosphere during the previous 12 months. I need to know these things!

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Tags: Happy Hour, Belgian Beer, Bazi Bierbrasserie, Robo Taco, Rum Club, Gold Dust Meridian, Clyde Common, Best of 2011

Good Riddance 2011

Parties, parties, and more parties

Posted by: Max Gelber on Dec 27, 2011 at 09:00AM 0 Comments

Quarterflash: Nothing has changed in 30 years. We still look like this.

The time has come to bid another year adieu—and I think it’s safe to say none of us are going to be too shy about sending 2011 off with a swift kick. However, like a pesky resolution we like to trot out the first few weeks of January, some of us constantly find ourselves at the last minute realizing we’ve neglected to figure out just what the heck we’ll be doing with ourselves come December 31. Well, fret no longer! We here at Bar Pilot are more than happy to help you choose the best possible way to tell this year to go shove it. Below we’ve compiled a hefty list of goings-ons throughout the city that are certain to help you ring in 2012 with a lighter spirit and a heavier liver.

Quarterflash – 30th Anniversary Show
It’s been three decades since one of Portland’s most successful rock bands released its self-titled debut album, which yielded three Top 40 hits, making Quarterflash the state’s first band to be certified platinum in the US and Canada. They’ve been around the world supporting the likes of Elton John, Sammy Hagar, and Rick Springfield, but they’re celebrating at home this year to ring in the new year at the Aladdin Theatre. Lead singer and sax player Rindy Ross will be exhuming her wardrobe for outfits she wore during the group’s first tour and the band will perform a slew of their greatest hits (“Harden My Heart”, “Find Another Fool”, etc.). They’ve also been working on a new record, so there should be some fresh material in the set. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 9 PM, $35-40

New Year’s Eve with DJ Zimmie + The Love Loungers
Normally Portland’s go-to locale for chest-cracking dubstep, the Crown Room will instead bring out the funk for the last party of 2011. Portland’s newest DJ transplant and no stranger to the Crown, DJ Zimmie, and Groove-Hop masterminds The Love Loungers will keep the beats pumping all night long. Complimentary sushi buffet and midnight Champagne toast included with cover charge.
The Crown Room, 205 NW 4th Ave, 9PM, $10

Fourth Annual Two Beer Veirs New Year’s Celebration
The lovely and tuneful Laura Veirs has outdone herself again this year, gathering a star-studded supergroup of area stars including Decemberists Nate Query, John Moen and Chris Funk, Black Prairie’s Jon Neufeld and Annalisa Tornfelt. Members of Richmond Fontaine, Loch Lomond, Blind Pilot and Blue Giant also will jump in throughout the set all night long.
Laurelthirst Public House, 2958 NE Glisan, 8 PM, $25

McMenamins New Year’s Eve w/ Reverend Horton Heat
Stuff that pack of American Spirits into your sleeve, polish up your coif with a little greasy kid stuff, and get set to percolate, because the Reverend is ready to preach. McMenamins is offering a large variety of overnight packages at all their hotel locations, including a stay at the Crystal Hotel with a special NYE performance by rockabilly legend Reverend Horton Heat. Overnight packages include lodging for two, a private cocktail reception and four-course plated dinner, admission to the Crystal Ballroom, sparkling wine midnight toast, and New Year’s Day breakfast in the Zeus Cafe.
Crystal Hotel & Ballroom, 9 PM show, $25-30 show, $465-525 room package

21st Annual Champagne Ball
What would a New Year’s Eve be without the longest-running party in Portland? Featuring four different party rooms and three dance floors occupied by 5 Guys Named Moe, DJ Sugar, and DJ Reckless. Multiple bars are available so you can spend more time showing off your robot dance skills and not waiting around in line. Hot and cold hors d’oeuvres and midnight pizza will be served to keep your party spirit properly nourished all night long. Complimentary glass of champagne to be served at countdown. A “No Jeans, Tennis Shoes or T-shirts” Dress Code will be heavily enforced. Really, you’d wear jeans to the ball? Get swanky! Proceeds benefit the Children’s Cancer Association.
Grand Ballroom, Hilton Hotel, 921 SW 6th Ave., 8 PM, $89-119

Talkdemonic
Portland’s own glitter-dripping, electro-pop duo Talkdemonic will be joined by Deelay Ceelay and Brainstorm to ring in the New Year at the Mission Theater. Featuring an overload of visual displays and eye candy along, exclusive NYE cocktails will be flowing all night long. At the midnight hour, DJ Freaky Outty mans the decks for some electric soul music, which should keep the feet moving till the wee hours.
Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan, 8 PM, $16-18

New Year’s Eve Night Flight Orchestra
Get your sea legs in the New Year aboard the Portland Spirit cruise ship with music provided by Night Flight, a five-piece dance and show band playing hip hits and swing standards.
Portland Spirit Dock, Salmon St. Springs Fountain, 10 PM, $100 includes gratuity, Champagne, light hors d’oeuvres and boarding photo.

Storm Large NYE Concerts
Storm Large’s roots in our fair city are, well, large. She made a name for herself as the unhinged front-woman for Storm and the Balls, starred in Portland Center Stage’s production of Cabaret, and her autobiographical musical memoir Crazy Enough sold out for 17 straight weeks, and she even secured a spot as a touring member of Pink Martini. Every year, Ms. Large tips her hat in thanks to Portland with a NYE performance that blends sultry cabaret sass with boot-kicking rock. These shows sell out fast, so snatch up a ticket before it’s too late.
Alberta Rose Theater, 3000 Northeast Alberta St., 7:30 & 9:45 PM, $65-75

New Year’s Eve with Al Madrigal
If you’re not in the mood to put on that sparkly dress, or heating up the iron to straighten a soiled shirt? This year, just skip the ridiculous cover charges and get wasted on laughter endorphins. The Daily Show’s Senior Latino Correspondent Al Madrigal is performing two special NYE sets at Helium Comedy Club. The early show ticket includes complimentary appetizers and the late show a dessert buffet, champagne toast, and party favors.
Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SW 9th Ave., 8 PM & 10:30 PM, $25-50

Copacabana: A Latin Masquerade Gala
Not sure if you are more in the mood for a nice dinner out, or maybe a lively dance party? A visit to the Benson Hotel might be your best bet this year, as they’re packing in three fantastic party choices. Copacabana is the theme as they transform the Mayfair Ballroom into one part Latin dance party, and one part masquerade ball featuring a Cuban-themed buffet and local jazz cats the Bobby Torres Ensemble providing the soundtrack. Or, hit up Palm Court for the pop-inspired Flamenco stylings of Toque Libre. The Benson also will be serving a special dinner in the London Grill for those in need of the feedbag before hitting up the festivities. Special guestroom packages include champagne split, event admission, dinner with preferred seating, complimentary masquerade masks and more.
Benson Hotel, 309 SW Broadway, Guestroom Packages from $339

80s Video Dance Attack NYE Party
Rock out with VJ Kittyrox to some vintage Duran Duran, Spandau Ballet, Thompson Twins, and more of the hits from the early days of MTV, complete with light show and music videos projected onto 10-foot screens for this special New Year’s Eve edition of the popular weekly dance party. A nostalgia high is also hangover-proof!
Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 8 PM, $17-22

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What Kind of Drunk Are You?

Surprise! Booze can turn you into a jerk.

Posted by: John Chandler on Dec 20, 2011 at 10:00AM 9 Comments

Interesting report from the folks over at Slow Cocktails about the different kinds of drunks. In my experience, drunken behavior can be very unpredictable (e.g. remorseful, horny, loud, destructive, mean, cuddly, cute), but the researchers conducting the study for the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology broke their findings down into two camps: those who become increasingly aggressive and those who don’t become any more aggressive than usual. With New Year’s Eve coming up, knowing whom to avoid at the party could come in handy.

Nearly 500 young drinkers (median age 23) were selected for the experiment. Some were given orange juice and (most likely) vodka, and others were given much less potent (placebo) drinks. The subjects were then told an elaborate lie about competing against opponents in a speed-reaction test, with the winner administering an electrical shock to the loser. The results? People who identify themselves as “living in the here and now” became more aggressive (i.e., gave longer shocks and apparently took some measure of delight in it) than those with a well-developed sense of “actions leading to future consequences.”

“Alcohol has a myopic effect—it narrows your attention to what is important to you right now,” said Brad Bushman the lead author of the study. “That may be dangerous to someone who already has that tendency to ignore the future consequences of their actions and who is placed in a hostile situation.”

Not sure how I feel about this. I think there are other significant factors that can lead to increased aggression, most notably one’s mood at the beginning of a binge. So let’s get scientific, drinking buddies: What do you think of the study, and which kind of drunk are you? Me first: I’m a sleepy drunk. I’ve got friends who can wail all night when they’ve got a buzz on, but I usually start thinking about where I’m going to crash well before I fall on my stupid face. Put me down for having a pretty good idea of actions leading to future consequences. Thank experience, old age, whatever. Discuss.

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Tags: Science and Research

Holiday Grab Bag

Support local craft and literature

Posted by: John Chandler on Dec 16, 2011 at 10:00AM 1 Comments

Here at the Portland Monthly compound we’re giddy with anticipation for this afternoon’s annual Christmas soiree, in which gifts will be exchanged (damn you to hell, whoever got me the Chia Pet last year!), food will be gluttonously shoveled, and many, many cocktails will be swilled, leading to all kinds of confessions, curses, and drunken slips of the tongue. Fortunately, we’re all friends here. Mostly.

As we gird ourselves for the final days before being overtaken by an orgy of consumerism wrapped in festive paper, I’d like to point out that the late, lamented, Guild Public House is reopening today under new ownership. As reported by Willamette Week, Eater PDX, and others, the intrepid trio of Justin Akins (from Vintage Cocktail Lounge), Kenny Hill of Trebol, and beer lover Daniel Roy, appear to be gung-ho on emphasizing local spirits and beers, which is always music to my ears. And, according to their Twitter feed, they will have pinball. That’s tight.

Still looking for stocking stuffer ideas? Allow me to recommend a couple from right here in Rose City. I’ve sang her praises before, but it bears repeating. Anyone interested in the subject of Happy Hour in this town should definitely be armed with Cindy Anderson’s exhaustively researched Happy Hour Guidebook 2012 edition. It contains up-to-the-moment crucial information on nearly 500 Portland venues offering Happy Hour deals, as well as some money-saving coupons that should take some of the sting out of your Happy Hour sticker shock. I treasure my copy, and you should do the same.

For the crafty fans of craft beers, local artiste Mindy Humphrey has created Mindy’s Beer Gear, an awesome collection of wallets, bags, and colorful accessories amazingly assembled from recycled beer labels, six packs, and other materials. And yes, she will do custom orders. If anyone wants to stuff something supercool in my stocking (that sounds bad, doesn’t it?) I could really go for a BridgePort Kingpin wallet. Preferably with a $50 bill in it. Jingle bells, everybody!

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Tags: Happy Hour, christmas, Guild Public House, Happy Hour Guidebook, Cindy Anderson, Mindy's Beer Gear

Gift Guide: Whiskey Stones

The solution to dilution

Posted by: Max Gelber on Dec 13, 2011 at 09:00AM 0 Comments

Those jackbooted thugs behind the ultra-secretive ice cube lobby have been fooling us for years. All this time we’ve been made to believe that frozen chunks of H2O were the only method of keeping our cocktails chilled. But unless we keep our homes at temperatures only a polar bear would find balmy, we’ve been watering down our precious cask-aged hooch like amateurs.

Luckily, a group of soapstone workers in Perkinsville, Vermont have come up with Whiskey Stones, a set of hand chiseled soapstone squares that keep your drink nice and chilled, without the threat of unintended dilution. Just pop these bad boys in the freezer for a few hours and when your ready for that nightcap, let them stand for five minutes before tossing them into your glass. Finished? Just give them a quick rinse and toss them back in the freezer.

While the product’s namesake may lean to one specific libation lover, we’re confident the gin fanciers and vodka enthusiasts in your life will love these enemies of room temperature domination.

Each purchase comes with a set of nine US Minded soapstones and a convenient drawstring carrying bag.

This is the fifth in an ongoing series of Christmas gift posts for the imbiber on your list. From costly to cut-rate, we’ll try to find a budget for every bank account. Any gifts that are not met with an immediate display of genuine enthusiasm can be dropped off at the Portland Monthly offices. Be sure to include the receipt.

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Sandwich Stars

Big-Ass Sandwiches throws a big-ass party

Posted by: Rebecca Waits on Dec 09, 2011 at 05:00PM 0 Comments

Brian Posehn: Nerd Rage.

Lisa Wood woke up one morning last year and tweeted to the world that she and her husband/business partner Brian were interested in trading some of their Big-Ass Sandwiches for tickets to cool shows in town. Imagine her surprise when four hours later, comedy star Patton Oswalt rolled up to their cart on SW Ash with a hungry belly and a pair of tickets to his show. As Lisa puts it, “I feel like I won the f******* Internet!"

That day would spawn a series of curious friendships between Big-Ass Sandwiches and professional funny folks, characterized mainly by a new tradition of naming their absurdly-sized, mouthwatering, french-fry-filled sandwiches after local and touring comedians (as well as bands). This incredibly Portlandy trade-off has resulted in entrees like native Portlander and rising comic Matt Braunger’s sandwich “The Fat Braunger”, and local laugh-getter Ron Funches’ “A Delicious Situation."

Saturday night, Wonder Ballroom is the spot for Big Ass Sandwiches’ Two-Year Anniversary bash, hosted by reigning Portland’s Funniest Person Ian Karmel. It’s a wintery celebration of sensational sandwiches (and the people who love/make them) with sets from Ron Funches as well as lovable metal-nerd Brian Posehn from The Comedians of Comedy (whose sandwich is called A Vulgar Display of Porkage because he’s a Pantera fan). Not overwhelmingly cool enough for you? Headlining the evening will be local metal heroes (gyros?) Red Fang—who recently co-hosted and judged the local air guitar championship with Karmel.

“I am a hugely passionate comedy nerd in the same way that I’m a nerd about music. There seems to be a lot of crossover between those two communities, and I didn’t know if anybody had really combined the two here in town," says Lisa, “so this show is gonna be a good one.”

While this is by no means the first merger of rock and comedy, it should prove to be a particularly epic one. This showcase is jam-packed with top-tier talent guaranteed to make it an unforgettable—and incredibly metal—night for the ages.

Lisa admits, given the economic climate, she and Brian are extremely happy to be celebrating a second year with a few of their favorite things.

“We work really hard—we’re here every day, working nonstop, and we don’t get much of a chance to see friends and family anymore. So this is the one time of year when we can just close down, party, and talk to people. We had no idea it was gonna be so big this year, but we want the people who eat here—our regulars as well as new faces—to be able to get together, take a break and celebrate. We’re so grateful to our customers, seriously. I see so many carts closing every day, and we’re just happy that people like our food so much and keep coming back. We are truly, humbly thankful.”

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Tags: Big Ass Sandwiches, Brian Posehn, Red Fang

Drink Deck the Halls

Deals in these cards

Posted by: John Chandler on Dec 08, 2011 at 03:00PM 6 Comments

How many times has this happened to you? After several rounds of cocktails and a few orders of funky finger food at a local watering hole, the check arrives and you have a petit mal seizure when you get to the bottom line. It’s not that you weren’t prepared to exchange currency for goods and services, but rather that the particulars of the evening somehow got away from you. Friends dropped by, had drinks and the lion’s share of the nachos, and then simply vanished into thin air like Flight 19 in the Bermuda Triangle. Who ordered Napoleon brandy? Did we really polish off 14 pints of porter? The upshot is, you’re stuck with a bill that’s quite a bit more than you were prepared to pony up. Enter the Drink Deck.

The brainchild of the appropriately named Will Glass, Drink Deck is a pack of 52 playing cards (yes, they can be used as playing cards), each worth $10 off your bill at a particular Portland eating and drinking establishment. Stuck for ideas about where you and your posse will spend your leisure time in pursuit of burgers and buzz? Just take a card, any card, and make plans for an excursion. Each card has an identifying photo, a descriptive (e.g., neighborhood joint, sports bar, bistro, hip hangout, etc), the bar’s website, address, and phone number, everything you need to make an informed destination decision. There is a catch: You and your buddies must spend at least $30 in order to receive the $10 discount, which seems reasonable to me. At the moment, there are Drink Decks in Portland, New Orleans, and Chicago, with more plans for an ever-expanding empire. And for technologically savvy types, there is a smart-phone version. Why is this a great idea? Because it inspires voyages of exploration instead of another dull evening at the same ol’ place. Think of Magellan, Admiral Byrd, and other notable drinkers torn from the pages of history.

If you’re thinking a Drink Deck would make a great Christmas gift for that lovable lush in your life, now is a good time to pounce, because the price of a deck is currently at $24.99 (normally $29.99). A visit to the website is a smart move, because there’s always news about special offers and even parties, like the Drink Deck One-Year Anniversary soiree, happening Dec 15 at Vendetta (an RSVP from the website is required). So deal those cards and shuffle off for an evening of adventure.

This is the fourth in an ongoing series of Christmas gift posts for the imbiber on your list. From costly to cut-rate, we’ll try to find a budget for every bank account. Any gifts that are not met with an immediate display of genuine enthusiasm can be dropped off at the Portland Monthly offices. Be sure to include the receipt.

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Bar Pilot’s Gift Guide #3

Burnside’s bottled brews at Belmont Station

Posted by: John Chandler on Dec 05, 2011 at 02:00PM 0 Comments

The aging of beer in sturdy oak barrels that once housed bourbon, brandy, port, and other high-powered hooch is de rigueur these days. But let’s not overlook the sublime simplicity of a nice, fresh ale. Tonight at Belmont Station starting at 6, three of Burnside Brewing’s top beers, created and curated by brewmaster Jason McAdam, will be available in 22 oz. bottles for you to collect and covet (or I suppose you could simply drink them). Take home Burnside’s IPA, Oatmeal Pale Ale, or Stock Ale for yourself, or wrap them lovingly with ribbons and bows for the craft beer connoisseur on your list.

In case you’re wondering, I am especially fond of the Stock Ale, an E.S.B. style blessed with a superb balance of hops and malt. Hopefully Burnside’s Sweet Heat will find its way into a bottle before too long.

This is the third in an ongoing series of Christmas gift posts for the imbiber on your list. From costly to cut-rate, we’ll try to find a budget for every bank account. Any gifts that are not met with an immediate display of genuine enthusiasm can be dropped off at the Portland Monthly offices. Be sure to include the receipt.

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Tags: christmas, Burnside Brewing

Bar Pilot’s Gift Guide #2

Treats from the Cookie Pedalers

Posted by: Rebecca Waits on Dec 02, 2011 at 04:00PM 4 Comments

The Dude abides—and tastes yummy!

In the chaos of all the holiday cooking, who has the time to bake their own delicious cookies designed around a moderately obscure reference from a classic cult film? Yeah, me either. Thank the nondenominational heavens, then, for local cookie goddesses Cookie Pedalers, a local start-up that delivers cookies to your door via bike. If you want to cut down on your seasonal spending and your carbon footprint, order up a dozen or so of “The Dude”, a boozy spin on a classic Russian tea cake named for everyone’s favorite well-meaning stoner protagonist from The Big Lewbowski. This butter cream-infused cookie hides a chocolate-covered espresso bean in its center, and gets topped off with a Kahlua-espresso glaze. (It’s glazed after baking BTW, so the Kahlua is not baked out and adds a real kick!) You can have 15 delivered—in a compostable cup, no less—for a mere $13. Cheap, hooch-frosted cookies biked to your doorstep. Dude! What more do you want, Portland?!

Since December 2009, Cookie Pedalers Teal Smerlinder and Molly McCarthy have been cooking up scrumptious sweets directly from their baking space at Mt. Tabor Theatre and into the hearts (and arteries) of sweet-toothed townies. According to Teal, they strive to offer “everything from vegan to bacon”—and that’s no hype. For the perfect snack for your allergy-prone cousin Sage, “The Hippie Douchebag” is vegan and gluten-free: a delectable sweet coconut-curry macaroon dipped in chocolate. At the other end of the spectrum lies “The PBR (Portland Bacon Roll)” a maple/bacon/chocolate invention that is genuinely (not just ironically) delicious. Cookie Pedalers offers over a dozen varieties, including a 3-lb. cookie cake. Not sure what to get? Try the random assortment sampler plate for a mere $15.

For your out-of-town loved ones, they will also ship orders all across the country for a flat rate. Cookie Pedalers is available for deliveries and catering jobs until December 21, then will reopen after New Year’s.

This is the second in an ongoing series of Christmas gift ideas for the imbiber on your list. From costly to cut-rate, we’ll try to find a budget for every bank account. Any gifts that are not met with an immediate display of genuine enthusiasm can be dropped off at the Portland Monthly offices. Be sure to include the receipt.

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