Product Test
Is It Safe?
Drink reporting can be hazardous
Posted by: John Chandler on Jul 26, 2010 at 09:00AM
10 Comments
Today’s post asks five simple questions that require answers from you, my faithful drinking buddies.
1. What is in this product?
2. What effect will it have on the human body?
3. Should I drink it?
4. Should I make an intern drink it?
5. Should I just leave it in the office fridge and walk away?
As you know, I’m a slave to your capricious demands, so please tell me how to proceed. By the way, I hope this serves as powerful evidence that I do indeed earn my paycheck. I am a working-class hero.
Just. Walk. Away.
Slowly.
start with #4. If the intern doesn’t survive, proceed to step #5. If the intern quakes positively, who cares about #1, go directly to step 3. Report back on #1 and #2.
Just say no. I found one review that describes that thing as tasting like “slimy Hawaiian punch.” That was followed up by a comment saying that there is no real reason to drink it, and the name is the most exciting part. Apparently, while the name makes you giggle—the drink does not. So, I vote for option 5, unless you don’t like your intern. Then, you have options. But, really, even if you don’t like said intern, wouldn’t it be better to make them do something that benefits you? After all, what do you get by making them drink that swill?
I have some questions of my own: Do you get hazard pay? Did whoever design this packaging make it look like a toilet cleaning product on purpose? Is it now OK to add the suffix “gasm” to other words? I hear there might be a real heatgasm coming up this week.
is this a sign of the apocalypse or just a road sign on the highway to hell? haven’t we already lived through f***ing ZIMA?!?! bartles and jaymes? oh, the humanity!!!! don’t walk away – RUN!!! i think it turns out that it’s not idle hands that are the devil’s tools – it’s malt liquor. the only way i’ve survived bartending is by working in establishments that allow my inner voices to be heard, and this screams “ARE YOU F***ING INSANE?!? I’D RATHER POUR YOU A DUCK FART!!!”
I assume it’s plastic, but if it’s glass bring the bottle and lid home, they look cool. Please make sure the contents are disposed of safely first, preferably in a willing intern.
From the Neuro Drinks site:
NeuroGasm is a delicious drink designed to promote better sexual health. Two powerful amino acids, L-Arginine and L-Citrulline play a role in the production of a compound called nitric oxide (which) helps regulate blood flow through arteries that supply nutrients to muscles, brain, lungs and other organs [which would be?…]. Nitric Oxide may also stimulate a sexual response through the same physiological process… a full range of B-vitamins and other key amino acids, make the perfect combination for the “right” kind of energy when you need it most.
I don’t want to start any rumors or betray a confidence, but you might want to give that a try. Just sayin’.
@Aitch: So this is like Cialis Soda? Oh lord! As if teenagers aren’t hormonal enough already!
I love the bottle! I checked it out at my local Haggen Market, and it seems 100% recyclable. The name was exciting and scary, but I gotta say I enjoyed it…okay not like that, but it was pretty good. I wanna try the NeuroSleep next.
I LOVE NEURO GASM!!!! This beverage taste amazing and mixes well with Vodka! I have started to see it at a few bars in Portland! It doesn’t make me all horny as your presume but does give you a little edge =) My favorite is the Sonic it is my drink of choice to conquere my day! I feel so focused when I drink this! I also love the Sleep it knocks me out on those nights that my mind will not stop wondering! Great product! I LOVE NEURO!