Something About (Hamburger) Mary’s
Beloved bar and grill returns—to Old Town!
Posted by: John Chandler on Sep 13, 2010 at 01:00PM
9 Comments
The new home of Hamburger Mary’s is 19 NW Fifth Avenue, in the former location of Pasha’s Mediterranean Grill, a multi-culti dance club and restaurant. This comes after dribbles and drabs of information were leaked claiming the Portland franchise of this West Coast chain would be located where Bettie Ford’s used to be at 1135 SW Washington, while still another source ID’d the site as 239 SW Broadway, an address that currently does not exist (unless the grand opening is going to be held in the intersection between the Benson Hotel and Northwest Rugs, directly across the street from where I am now sitting).
Longtimers will recall the original Hamburger Mary’s from its heyday in late 70s and 80s as a bustling, gay-friendly greasy spoon that was situated in the block currently housing the Fox Tower. It was one of several satellite locales that sprang from the first Mary’s, which opened in San Francisco’s Castro District in 1972.
I actually discovered the new location when I was attempting to take a friend to Pasha’s for their $7.99 Mediterranean lunch buffet. It was a hit-miss quality meal but it was never crowded and I could always count on a tranquil lunch without being flanked by a pack of yammering yahoos. I’m a little sad it’s gone, but I look forward to dining on fried Twinkies, big omelets, and something called “Buffy the Burger Slayer” at the new Hamburger Mary’s.
Any of you old timers have any spicy tales of Hamburger Mary’s? I only ate there once and I was hungover out of my gourd. I just remember it was called Hamburger Mary’s so it wouldn’t be confused with strip-club Mary’s. Ah, good times.
I don’t know what that “Buffy the Burger Slayer” is, but I know what it should be. It should be a steak burger. Thus, the double entendre complete. Meat that could metaphorically refer to what that crazy kid Buffy is supposed to do to vampires. Just so long as nobody f—ing sings to you about it, at any time. Ever. That would be good. So, so good.
I didn’t go to HM’s very often, and usually just for drinks. I distinctly remember watching Bitter Moon with my gf at the Broadway and immediately making a bee-line up there to pound down some drinks and smokes. God that was a depressing movie, and HM’s (and the dive bar down the block they took over, The Spot) were great places to drink and wallow. Places that are getting fewer and further between downtown.
But it wasn’t called Hamburger Mary’s to differentiate it from the strip club. That was it’s name—there was an outpost in Honolulu, too, as I recall. The new one opening is part of new owners’ expansion plans, and looks far too “themey” for my tastes. Ah, well.
They were friendly towards long-hairs, too. It was reassuring to know that a hippie like me could drive up from Eugene and find a momentary refuge from the judgmental eyes of all you stylish, tidy Portland yuppie-types – along with a huge omlette loaded with goodies. And you could always ask them for either red OR green Tabasco. I mostly remember there was a lunch counter in the center that wrapped around in a U-shape. And all kinds of crap hanging from the ceiling and walls. Like, I don’t know…trumpets and sleds and crutches and badminton rackets and washboards and mannequin arms and bird cages. Actually, I can’t remember. But it was stuff like that. Anyone have a sharper memory of exactly what was hanging overhead?
I remember a burger stabbed with a knife instead of a lame old toothpick. The whole wheat buns tasted home made.
I went there with my boss and some co-workers once. She was going on and on about a former dorm roommate’s obscenely long showers, capped with comments, like “What could she be doing in there!?” until finally the waitress and I say, “How long is long?”
“Oh, my god, like TWENTY minutes!”
I’m so glad that waitress shared that moment with me.
Also, the first place I had been where the servers didn’t write down orders.
Especially impressive four a table of six!
On a first date, went to “Henry and June” (awkward) then to Hamburger Mary’s. I had soup – just a cup of soup. When I was almost done eating it, I guess I must have slowed down. My date asked, “Are you going to eat that?” and I gave him the rest of it.
They served the cream for coffee in baby bottles.
Once I saw a girl outside of Hamburger Mary’s with purple hair!
That’s all I remember.
I remember they had fantastic burgers years before the rest of Portland caught up. Looking forward to revisiting them. Thanks, Bar Pilot!
I think there was a chair hanging from the ceiling. Or a shovel maybe.
239 SW Broadway is where the LAST (and second) Hamburger Mary’s restaurant was located after it was kicked out of its first setting where the Fox Tower now stands.
Closed for many years now, Mary’s Honolulu as a new FB page which might be of interest to some. FB “Hamburger Mary’s Waikiki”