Death Watch
Who’s that following me?
Posted by: John Chandler on Jun 08, 2011 at 10:00AM
5 Comments
Oh, the price of celebrity.
One of my myriad duties here at the magazine is to drum up website traffic via timely and whimsical posts on Twitter (@TheBarPilot). It’s been slow going (I probably don’t retweet or #FF enough), but I’ve managed to wrangle a few followers—including the Mt Scott Funeral Home!
I’d worn my thinking cap down to the headband trying to figure out why a funeral home would be so interested in my madcap adventures when a coworker suggested that it’s probably due to my “high risk” lifestyle. Wait a second! I thought drinking was good for you. If two glasses of beer per day is healthy, then it follows that five or six should have me in Olympic fettle in no time.
And to my new pal @MtScottFuneralH: Thanks for the follow and I’ll see you in 40 years. How much for a funeral pyre?
What — like undertakers don’t need a drink now and then??
OK. On the one hand, you’re being a bit of a drama queen here. Did it ever occur to you that maybe the poor fellows at the funeral home need a good stiff drink after dealing with a bunch of stiff cadavers all day? It is possible.
On the other hand, I would still check into these people. Make sure that none of them are vampires or named Freddy Krueger or something. Indeed, it would be noble to donate your body to science after you’re gone (provided you nix the funeral pyre idea), but putting that off for 40 years (can’t believe you went for so small a number) would also be prudent.
If I worked at a funeral home, I would totally require frequent beers. Actually, replace “at a funeral home” with “anywhere”.
If the Bar Pilot went for the funeral pyre option, he’d end up being the world’s largest can of Sterno, given all the ethyl that’s soaked in over the years. He could keep a fondue pot bubbling for a couple weeks, easy.
Aitch FTW!
P.s. just kidding dear darling Bar Pilot,