Booze: The Greatest Gift
Potable presents part deux
Posted by: John Chandler on Dec 21, 2009 at 02:00PM
12 Comments
So, what terrors await thee ’neath the Christmas tree this year? Horrible, horrible clothes? Music from a relative who has no idea what you like? The dreaded “gag” gift? (A Chia Pet is funny once. Once!)
Next time you come around to my place, check out the basement. It’s piled floor to ceiling with useless crapola. It’s gotten to be such a prolific dumping site, that we can’t even find the washer and dryer. Now we’re forced to schlep our clothes to the laundromat where we’re at the mercy of cut purses, drug-addled babblers, escaped lunatics, three-card Monty sharps, and fundamentalist missionaries prepared to debate metaphysics till Doomsday.
The point is, I have too much crap. And approximately 94 percent of my detritus can be traced to uninspired Christmas gift-giving. It’s all there: George Foreman grills, macramé kits, bath robes, magnetic poetry, pogo sticks, bottles of malodorous cologne, snow globes, coffee mugs (I don’t drink coffee, thankyouverymuch), and at least a dozen jigsaw puzzles that have inexplicably ended up in the same box. Which is great if you’ve ever wanted to see the Great Pyramid of Giza located a little closer to the Alps.
Don’t pussyfoot around this year. Get the lush on your list a bottle of something memorable and affordable. For instance:
Aviation Gin Buy local! Aromatic, herbaceous, and shockingly drinkable (straight!) Aviation is a Dutch-style gin distilled right here in the Rose City. Even a gin and tonic, the most prosaic well drink of them all, becomes something altogether more bracing and complex.
Balvenie Single Malt Scoth Whiskey It’s hard to go wrong with a good single malt, but I can tell you that after my girlfriend got me a fifth of Balvenie for Christmas two years ago, I knew it was true love. Yes, a bottle of Balvenie 30-year can retail for upwards of $500, but let’s face it: We don’t love anybody that much. Stick to the 15-year, which is closer to $50. Sweet, smoky, and smooth as a James Bond pick-up line, it’s totally acceptable to crack open this bad boy whilst the rug rats run amok around the tree. Cheers!
Flor de Caña Rum This Nicaraguan spirit company has many superb varieties of rum, ranging from the top-shelf and spendy Centario Gold 18 Year, to the modestly priced 4 Year Gold, which is in the Sailor Jerry/Captain Morgan neighborhood cost-wise. Caramel and exotic spice notes are abundant.
Hardy’s “Whiskers Blake” Tawny Port On a budget this year? Welcome to the club. Fortunately, a bottle of “Whiskers Blake” from Australia will set you back a measly $12 or so. And for the money it’s a respectably rosy and robust after-dinner delight.
Wild Turkey American Honey A bottle goes for around $20, and it’s money well spent. A raft of cocktail pundits raved about American Honey served chilled and on the rocks, but I prefer this velvety honey liqueur (picture a more rustic version of Drambuie) as a crucial additive in a hot drink. A generous pour mixed with a mug of apple-cinnamon Theraflu became my most reliable restorative during an otherwise miserable bout with the flu this season.
(1) You should really embark on a trip to Good Will to rid yourself of the old stuff you don’t want any more. Then, you could use your washer and dryer, and avoid the drug addled babblers. Just saying.
(2) While things like your suggested tawny port are always welcome under my tree, I believe my money would be invested in a nice vodka like Indio Spirits’ Silver Edition (about $23). Then, the fam can set up a mini bar area with a ton of mixers and go nuts with whatever they actually want to make. I’m into less whining, and more drinking for the holidays.
Merry Christmas BP!
That Balvenie you picture above looks like just the thing. But lemme know where you’re finding the 15 year old for $50. Then I can start giving those, instead of the usual candle-making kits (for those who need to be drawn away from the whorish allure of store-bought candles).
Must include apple (or pear) brandy from Clear Creek Distillery in this list. Local! Fruity! Festive! I added some to Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider, and it turns out, this was the only thing missing from Christmases of my youth. I’m thinking it might also work well in prosecco.. in fact… what’er you doing right now?
At first I thought the photo was connected to the phrase “check out the basement” and I was on my way over. A good Irish whiskey makes a good gift, they’re underrated and people usually don’t buy it for themselves. Plus: cheaper than Scotch.
Frangelica. You can feel saintly whilst mid-morning drinking since you’ll be sharing it with a bottle in a monk’s garb.
Two suggestions: George Dickel #12 for about $20 is a surprisingly sophisticated yet smooth Tennessee Straight Sourmash whiskey often overlooked in an ever burgeoning market and one of the few whiskeys of any sort I can actually drink with enjoyment. And Westerhall Plantation Wax Seal rum, for a measly $25 your loved one can partake of some the best rum you can find under 80 bucks a fifth, its that good. Also Cathy suggests Becherovka for “what ails you”. Its a Czech herbal liquer that you could think of as Jagermiester minus the cough syrup. They tend to drink it with tonic.
@DMC, good call on the George Dickel, and I will seek out the Westerhall rum. Merry ambiguity!
http://clearcreekdistillery.com/pear.html
Clear Creek Pear Brandy is my go-to ’special occasion" gift.
Their liquid ambrosia makes a perfect gift for weddings, holidays, client schmooze, etc.
Here’s why:
Local.
Distinctive.
Two price points: $40/$80 (for the extra wow – pop for their “Pear-in-the-bottle” version)
Most of DELICIOUS!!
I’m giving home made kahlua this year. The ultimate in cheap booze gifts. OK, not that cheap, I do use good liquor and real vanilla beans.
2 new faves since the Highball Distillery open house: Organic Chamomile Liqueur from J. Witty Spirits, and Lavender Cello Liqueur (LOFT organic liqueurs).
My boyfriend also brought home a bottle of Crystal Head Vodka. Hard not to like a booze that comes in a skull bottle.
Just drained a glass of the Clear Creek Brandy. I now have a greatly enhanced sense of well being.