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BAR PILOT - March 2010

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Road Trip

Fond-a Wakonda

Coastal micro brew is worth the gas and traffic

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Wakonda
Photo: John Chandler

The magnificent pint of Wakonda Beachcomber Cream Ale that kick-started my quest.

View Slideshow » Photo: John Chandler

The magnificent pint of Wakonda Beachcomber Cream Ale that kick-started my quest.

View Slideshow » Photo: John Chandler

Does this look like the home of world-class beer?

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More signage! More signage!

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The humble furnishings in the lounge come from Goodwill’s celebrated dorm-room collection.

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Yes, there is foosball. I think it’s free.

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Taps. Wonderful taps.

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What’ll it be? Wakonda co-owner Juanita Kirkham is an affable fixture behind the bar.

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The Wakonda sampler (left to right): Black Elk Stout; Timber Beast IPA; Sneaker Wave Pilsner. All very distinguished beers.

View Slideshow » Photo: John Chandler

A jar with four pints of Beachcomber Cream Ale. Before the fall.

“Nooooo!”

This was my none-too-clever cry of dismay as the half-gallon jar of beer tumbled over in the back seat of the rental car and began spraying in all directions like an enraged sprinkler. I could only watch in horror as my beloved Wakonda Beachcomber Cream Ale lost its precious fizz in front of my teary eyes.

“Whyyyyy?!”

My sincerest Nancy Kerrigan impression erupted as I attempted to reseal the foamy jar and wrap the whole mess in my sweatshirt. I cradled the leaky vessel as if it were a colicky infant, my spirits plunging down the elevator shaft to the next stage of grieving—as per the Elizabeth Kübler-Ross model.

I like to think of myself as a pretty stoic guy (many others do not). But no sooner had I left the Wakonda Brewing tasting room in scenic Florence, Oregon, bearing my growler of beer, than a sharp turn in the road caused my world to implode as I recalled the words of Wakonda brew-mistress Juanita Kirkham: “Once you open it, you’re going to have to drink it all down.”

Instead, I tightened the lid with every last ounce of vein-popping vigor I could summon and sent off a quick prayer to Silenus, the Greek god of beer, that my special little brew would retain the lion’s share of its carbonated zest.

Wakonda Brewing is barely a blip on Oregon’s beer radar. Producing about 350 barrels annually since 2004, it’s about as mom-and-pop as it gets. Co-owner Kirkham, a friendly and garrulous woman of modest ambitions, is usually parked behind the bar of the wee tasting room, located near the Florence airport in a thoroughly unremarkable office park. Yet this anonymity lies in marked contrast to the worship-worthy beers served at the tasting room, which is open Wednesday-Saturday from 5 PM till 10-ish. It’s worth the Google search, believe you me.

The big kahuna of the bunch is the Beachcomber Cream Ale, a velvety butt-kicker that brings perhaps the finest balance of malt, spice, and fruit accents (orange and lemon principally) I’ve tasted in quite some time—hence my Homeric lamentations over the blown growler. Beachcomber saturates the palate in languorous fashion and dries off after a respectable duration. It’s an awesome bear.

The Timber Beast IPA fairly crackles in the mouth with its judicious blend of hops, though Kirkham tells me that this particular batch “is more like an accidental amber ale.” Accidents happen, but rarely are the results so satisfying.

The two people at the bar looked at me as if I’d just beamed down from an intergalactic roller disco after announcing that, no, I’d never had the Sneaker Wave Pilsner. “It’ll sneak up on you alright,” one of them laughed. I was pressed for time so I was only able to entertain a small sample, but it lit up my palate like a 100-watt bulb. Slightly bitter, full-bodied, and lightly spiced, the Sneaker Wave has potentially addictive properties and I’m afraid that an intervention might be in order if I were exposed to its bountiful charms on a regular basis.

I’m not normally a fan of stouts, but Wakonda’s Black Elk is a very drinkable and earthy brew with deep streaks of chocolate and toffee.

Sadly, I had to bid farewell to Kirkham and her little operation. She tells me that the tiny tasting room was only opened to offset their grain storage expenses, but that word of mouth about the beer has resulted in doubling Wakonda’s output.

Now if we can just get us a pipeline to Portland. There is a part of me, however, that revels in Wakonda’s scarcity. Kirkham and her crew make beer that they like to drink and to hell with market research and the latest fleeting trend. And that’s why it’s so damn yummy.

Last night I polished off the entire growler of cream ale. It gently lightened my spirits and cloaked me in a cozy sense of wellbeing that was snug as Grandma’s quilt.

And this morning? Not even the whisper of a hangover. Thank you Silenus. And thank you Wakonda. As a pre-gubernatorial Schwarzenegger once quipped, “I’ll be back.”

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Tags: Beer, Out of Town

Celebrity Sighting

Elvis is Everywhere

Could it be? You decide!

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Dsc01591

Thank you! Thank you very much!

I was draining a truly symphonic pint of Wakonda Beachcomber Cream Ale (more on this wonderful beer to come) at the Beachcomber Bar & Grill in Florence when I noticed this gentleman on my left. My two questions for the day:

1. Could it be Elvis Presley?

2. Why is the King in Florence (Oregon)?

Happy trails!

Dsc01590

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Tags: Elvis

Suds Survey II

Tapping the Source

What are you drinking? It’s research, baby

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Beercooler

It was recently pointed out to me by an authority figure that we can better serve our readership if we periodically took their pulse about what they’re eating, drinking, reading, watching, listening to, driving, and smoking. (OK, skip the last one.) Readers with elephantine memories may recall that many moons ago I wrote a less-than-scientific feature for this very magazine about the tastiest summer beers being concocted by our local beer barons.

What we’re gunning for today is an update on the state of craft beer—specifically beer that’s brewed locally or from somewheres in Oregon. We’re all up to speed on Widmer Hefeweizen, Bridgeport IPA, Dead Guy, Mirror Pond, Hammerhead, and all the rest of the usual suspects. What I want to know about (nay, demand to know about) are the little fish. The up-and-comers from artisan breweries in the area that have taken your taste buds hostage. The local brews that haunt your dreams and cause incidents of sleepwalking to the fridge. The IPA’s you drink in the shower. The ESB’s you pound after a hearty meal. The golden ales you quaff while in front of the TV, effectively shutting out spouse, offspring, and other reminders of the many tragic mistakes you’ve made in this unimaginable hell you call a life.

In my case, I’ve been steering away from the mega-hoppy IPA’s to more malty brews that deliver intriguing secondary and tertiary flavors. I’ve had a fairly serious romance with Ninkasi’s Believer Double Red, a hearty ale clustered with nutty caramel notes. I also confess to a dalliance with Hopworks Lager, a plucky refresher, suitable for choo-choo chugging or dainty dabbling, that’s made steady headway into the Portland pub pack.

How about you drinking buddies? Give me the low down on the locals: the good, the great, the fabulous—and the overrated. Let’s get cracking!

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Tags: Beer

Sports News

Of Beer and Brackets

Four spots for sipping suds during the NCAA tournament

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Dunk-beer-glass

Hey, how’s that March Madness treating you? You don’t have to fib—we know you picked Kansas all the way, and, after last weekend’s tumultuous two rounds, office paper shredders have been working double overtime making confetti for all the hapless hopefuls who picked the No. 1 seeded Jayhawks. If you were one of the 50 percent whose picks went down quick like the Titanic, you definitely need somewhere to cheer up, buttercup. Might we suggest collegiate sports bar the Cheerful Tortoise? The word on the block is that they’ll have giveaways during televised games, and, for the final, the winner gets a hammock—the perfect consolation prize for lounging and lamenting about Northern Iowa’s remarkable David-ko’s-Goliath win over Kansas.

For the other half of you that picked Kentucky (come on, you either picked Kansas or Kentucky) at least you still have breathing room, as the Wildcats could potentially square off against our regional rivals the Washington Huskies. Since we’re narrow-minded and all, we’ll assume that John Wall and his cousin will escape the East and be Final Four-bound. Fittingly, Champion’s Sports Bar would be ideal to watch the expected coronation of the ’Cats, since they have 20 TVs and feature happy hour all day during the games. OK, we lied—we’re only suggesting this place because of the 20 views you’ll have of Kentucky dominating Washington—that is, if the Dogs can succeed in bouncing West Virginia out of the tournament.

The fun of the Syracuse quadrant (the West, supposedly) resulted in the least amount of upsets—the surviving quartet in the Sweet 16 include a five, six, and two seed to go along with No. 1 Syracuse. Although this region had some pretty close contests, the blandness of no double-digit seeds can be cured by heading to Macadams, since there’s a possibility of winning a 32-inch flat screen in their no entry-fee bracket contest.

Finally, the South region has the second-most hated team left in St. Mary’s (behind Northern Iowa, of course), since their ousting of two-seeded Villanova twisted the knife of those that had ‘Nova actually making it past the second round. If you picked Duke for this side, grab an order of Macho Nachos and a Lagunitas IPA at Claudia’s, the perfect sports pub to match Coach K’s precision offense. Plus, they’ll also have random raffles during the finals, which you can enter while quaffing a beer every time Duke’s golden boy Kyle Singler (from South Medford!) busts a bucket.

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Tags: Beer, Sports

Beer Bulletin

Glass Dismissed

Ale appreciation classes on tap

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Beersnob

Have you browsed the beer aisle at Fred Meyer lately? Sheesh! It’s a veritable Library of Congress of confounding labels, from teeny-weeny domestic microbreweries to exotic imports in towering bottles with $10 price tags. If you’re feeling a bit flustered by all the unfamiliar faces, relax and rejoice ’cause help is on the way.

A recently organized organization called Oregon Beer Odyssey is hosting a series of beer appreciation classes at various drinking venues across the city. Co-founder Ben Edmunds, a brewer who’s worked in Belgium and Germany, explains that attendees will acquire knowledge about beer styles as well as specific flavor descriptions which should magically transform them from six-pack slobs into erudite icons of sudsy sophistication. The classes start March 20 and most are individual sessions with titles such as “Tasting and Talking About Beer” and “Great Beers of the Northwest.” Damn, where were these guys when I was in college? I could have gotten a master’s degree in two years. “Yeah, we aren’t offering degrees in beer styles,” Edmunds laughs. “Although they do in Germany.”

They’re way ahead of us over there.

Oregon Beer Odyssey’s headquarters is in the same building as Beermongers bottle shop at 11th Avenue and SE Division St. Edmunds is visualizing the area as a hoppy hotspot, with the debut of a beer bar called Apex in another month or two. “They’re going to have a pretty aggressive opening,” Edmunds says. “They’ll open with 50 taps.”

So this stretch of inner Southeast will soon sport a bottle shop, a beer-centric bar, and a place to get some lager learning. I plan on enrolling and maintaining a sparkling GPA (Great Passion for Ale). Education never tasted so good.

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Tags: Beer

Food News

Lunchin’ Large

Big-Ass Sandwiches cures lunchtime blues

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Sammich
Photo: Garrett Milojevich

I have it on good authority that the world is going to end in 2012. This came straight from the mumbling, Harvey Pekar-lookalike who sits in the back of the No. 14 bus, and thus far his data has proven to be at least as reliable as Wikipedia or Fox News. Since we’re all headed for the happy hunting grounds anyway, I can wholeheartedly recommend lunch at Big-Ass Sandwiches.

Under the proprietorship of Brian and Lisa Wood, this never-say-diet food cart at the corner of SW Third and Ash has been grilling up belt-loosening sandwiches since just before Christmas. Today I punished a Big-Ass Breakfast Sandwich (pictured), which sports a scrambled-egg foundation, covered with bacon (or sausage), and buried under a pig-pile of French fries. Somehow the soft and chewy ciabatta roll is able to swallow up this mess, though the consumer is more than welcome to shovel down a few handfuls of fries in conventional fashion before closing the sandwich, taking a beatific bite, and happily hastening their own demise. It’s an efficient little monster that ruthlessly combines side dish and entree on a dough pillow of fresh-baked bread.

Co-owner Lisa Wood tells me that this week BAS is proud to feature the Cort & Fatboy Special, a beef brisket slathered in homemade BBQ sauce and crushed beneath layers of bacon, coleslaw, and fries. Word around the carts is that this leviathan lunch special may soon spawn its own religion. And with Armageddon on the horizon, a little religion couldn’t hurt.

UPDATE: The actual title of this week’s special is “The Cort & Fatboy Happy Fun Time BBQ Southern Meat Surprise.” Thanks David Walker!

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Tags: Food Carts, Big Ass Sandwiches

Rock the Clubs

Wonderful Words

Your new favorite band

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Blows1

From Words to Blows: Your favorite band in six months—trust me.

Just a hastily scribbled note about last night’s a-rock-a-lyptic show at Plan B. I was floored by From Words to Blows, the new band fronted by longtime Portland sideman—and jolly good fellow—Jesse Emerson (Amelia, Flatirons), augmented by the beguiling Susannah Weaver (she who is known as Little Sue) on bass and support vocals, and by rad keyboardist Jenny Conlee who earns her primary paycheck with those wacky Decemberists.

I blogged about them last June at their first show (sans Conlee) and was duly impressed. But last night’s performance was jaw-dropping. I honestly can’t remember being that absorbed by a band (local or touring) in a long, long time. What I appreciate the most about From Words to Blows is its inventiveness; the ability to pull surprises out of a well-worn rock ‘n’ roll hat. Emerson has kind of a downbeat, blue-collar glam persona, like David Bowie slumming with a bar band. Weaver’s harmony vocals are sweetly doomed country, while Conlee’s organ fills add a ’70s hot-buttered soul groove that covers everything like syrup on a short stack. And amazingly enough, all these elements snap together with Lego efficiency into something truly heroic. I was hanging on every note.

The show was free and there were only about 25 people present at Plan B, the amiable punk rock bar located smack-dab in the middle of the inner Southeast industrial hub. A damn shame. I hope you all enjoyed a killer episode of Project Runway, because this was a night I won’t soon forget.

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Tags: Night Life, band

Cheap Drinks

Colt Classic

What to buy with $3

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Colt2

Last night. (Below) This morning.

I feel your pain. Lest you think the Bar Pilot is some hoity-toity, well-to-do toffee-nosed twit with more dollars than sense, I would just like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that our current state of economic suck-it-tude also affects those of us whose business it is to booze.

Contrary to popular opinion, my office is not stacked floor-to-ceiling with complimentary bottles of Napoleon brandy. Nor do I spend my days sitting in a leather easy chair sipping single malt scotch with my feet propped up on a nearby intern. Sadly, my discretionary budget for drinking and gadding about town is roughly equal to that of Greenland’s highest-paid comedian.

Take yesterday for example, For myriad reasons (my losses at the Baccarat table have been staggering) I was reduced to my last $3 in spending money. Ordinarily I would simply whip out my Mastercard, but I recently discovered that my identity has been pilfered by a juvenile delinquent from Sandusky, Ohio who maxed out my credit on internet porn.

Colt3

To further complicate matters, there was a Trail Blazer game on TV, and I will not watch a televised sporting event without a beer in hand. I can’t. I won’t.

So I swallowed my pride, went to the corner quickie mart where I am revered as a connoisseur of name-brand swill, and bought a 40-ounce bottle of Colt 45 malt liquor. Mr. Lee rang me up and eyeballed me with newfound contempt, like I was a priest buying a copy of Hustler. Big deal, right? I mean, this is what we drank all the time before the advent of employment. And for $2.74 it didn’t break the bank.

Still, I can’t remember the last time I was reduced to such a pitiable financial state. In order to fool my snobby sensibilities I poured my purchase into a glass normally reserved for a premium ale.

How did it go? Not too bad. I’ve had much, much worse beer in my life. Colt 45 is a relatively smooth and full-bodied brew, and what it lacks in nuance, it more than makes up for with a buzz factor that’s off the charts. In terms of bang for your buck, Colt 45 is the motherlode.

On the downside I had neglected to eat dinner so I soon found myself lost at sea. It’s been my experience that when one tipples in excess with a top-shelf spirit even the resulting intoxication is usually more of a charmingly comic episode. That extra change you’ve plunked down for the good stuff means you’re typically on solid ground even whilst inebriated. Not so with cheap malt liquor. It was a reckless sort of a drunk, like one attained by an underage drinker with hooch stolen from Mom and Dad’s liquor cabinet. I was unsteady and not terribly witty and my dogs stared up at me with alarm in their little brown eyes. I was an unfrozen caveman—a graceless savage and soon I was snoring away on the couch with x’s for eyes.

This morning I awoke with a sour taste in my mouth but thankfully no hangover. Which leads me to ask: What happened to me? I used to drink 40s all the time. I was a happy prole. A lovable lout. Have I become an effete member of the upper crust? A shameless elitist with no soul?

What do you say drinking buddies? Is the consumption or alcohol a matter of economics? Is it worthwhile to drink cheap or are you better off abstaining until you have the coin for something decent? After the age of 40 are you required to maintain your dignity 24-7? As for me, I’m not in a hurry to quaff another Colt, but it was not without its brutish charms.

After all, it’s good enough for Lando Calrissian.

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Tags: Beer, Cheap

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