Yikes! They must have seen the test results.

Oh, the price of celebrity.

One of my myriad duties here at the magazine is to drum up website traffic via timely and whimsical posts on Twitter (@TheBarPilot). It’s been slow going (I probably don’t retweet or #FF enough), but I’ve managed to wrangle a few followers—including the Mt Scott Funeral Home!

I’d worn my thinking cap down to the headband trying to figure out why a funeral home would be so interested in my madcap adventures when a coworker suggested that it’s probably due to my "high risk" lifestyle. Wait a second! I thought drinking was good for you. If two glasses of beer per day is healthy, then it follows that five or six should have me in Olympic fettle in no time.

And to my new pal @MtScottFuneralH: Thanks for the follow and I’ll see you in 40 years. How much for a funeral pyre?