Duck Blind

By Randy Gragg

Poor Oregon State. For as long as the Beavers and Ducks have passed, sprinted, and dribbled, OSU has languished as the Frank Stallone to Oregon’s more decorated, pec-flexing Sylvester. Football, basketball, track—the University of Oregon Ducks have, historically, dominated them all. But at least OSU, with the strength of two national championships, could puff out its chest about having Oregon’s best—and only—baseball team.

Until now. This season, for the first time since 1981, the Ducks are putting a squad back on the diamond. And we’re not talking some hodgepodge of rejects. The Ducks pulled in a top-flight inaugural recruiting class, hired a two-time national Coach of the Year, and will enter the season ranked in the top ten.

Beaver fans have reason to be nervous. But at least they’ll enjoy a good chuckle when the Ducks take the field. In keeping with Phil Knight’s tradition of outfitting Oregon teams in eye-popping (some might say retina-burning) mix-and-match uniforms, the Ducks are rolling out a wardrobe that includes not one, not two, but six different combinations of lime-green and electric-yellow regalia—one of which features the lyrics to the university’s fight song stitched into pinstripes. (Seriously.) Here we take a critical eye to the only baseball uniforms visible from space.

Joints and Script Flexible joints Pro: Pants and jerseys are designed with more mobility in the knees and shoulders. Con: Constant at-the-plate cup-adjusting shreds these babies faster than Bill Sizemore shreds ballot initiatives. Unique Ducks script Pro: Flashy. Tough. Makes the word “duck” sound mildly imposing. Con: During night games, flying insects might thunk off players as if they were giant halogen bulbs in a cornfield.

Fibers Futuristic fibers Pro: Thirty-three percent lighter than most unis, these feature the latest technology for warming, cooling, and drying. Con: Unintentional by-product of experimentation: attracting every projectile of tobacco spit within a five-county radius.

Stripes Lyrical pinstripes Pro: The Duck fight song—a 1916 rah-rah ditty by Albert Perfect that’s been sewn into the pinstripes—harkens back to an era when college sports were about more than big money. Con: The line between fashion forward and faux pas is a slim one—about as narrow as a pinstripe rendered in nano-point type.