DUANE SORENSON Pour a macchiato on the pavement for the Stumptown Coffee founder’s indie cred. News of the local roaster’s sale to (or investment from, or whatever) a big-wheel equity firm sent success-suspicious Portlanders into a tizzy. Duane, you may be a high roller, but we’ll always take a cupping from you.

JUN IWASAKI Fresh off a rave review from New Yorker critic Alex Ross, the Oregon Symphony lost Iwasaki, its acclaimed concertmaster (top violinist), to the cash-flush Nashville Symphony. Jun, before you go, you absolutely must play “Tennessee Waltz” for us. Hit it!

EMILY HARRIS A round of the strong stuff for the erstwhile host of Oregon Public Broadcasting morning show Think Out Loud: the NPR vet departed over “editorial and communication differences.” Emily, your style was, uh, polarizing, but have a seat and we’ll chew the fat.

STEVE NOVICK This 4-foot-9, one-handed superwonk jumped into the fray for Randy Leonard’s open City Council seat before the chair went cold. Whether Novick wins the 2012 race or not, we expect commercials even better than the hook-as-bottle-opener YouTube act he uncorked in his unsuccessful 2008 Senate race.

ARIKO ISO Formerly the only female trainer in the NFL, Iso swaps Steelers for Beavers as she takes over the medical room for Oregon State’s gridiron team. Ariko, if you promise to end your alma mater’s injury plague, you can have an extra helping of spit-roasted duck.

THE TUALATIN BLACK BEAR This 200-pound ursine intruder ambled around a suburban school before getting a tranquilized ride to the Coast Range. But, please, come back—as long as you’re content to hang in the yard. We presume you prefer a raw-food diet?