I’m terrified Madonna has the power to actually come after me if I say anything too snarky, but it’s clear the botom of her dress is making its way north to try and swallow her whole. And I don’t think the big cross is going to help.

Image: Getty Images

Last night was the annual Golden Globes award show. The hipper cooler sibling to the Oscars, the Globes always has stars partying, diamonds shining and celebrities trying to avoid eye contact with Ricky Gervais for fear he’ll pick on them publicly. But most importantly, it gives us the chance to ogle dresses and cast snap judgements on red carpet looks.

(Getting my magic snarky wand out of my bag to wave haphazardly)

MOTION PICTURES

— Picture, Drama: “The Descendants.”

— Picture, Musical or Comedy: “The Artist.”

— Actor, Drama: George Clooney, “The Descendants.”

— Actress, Drama: Meryl Streep, “The Iron Lady.”

— Director: Martin Scorsese, “Hugo.”

— Actor, Musical or Comedy: Jean Dujardin, “The Artist.”

— Actress, Musical or Comedy: Michelle Williams, “My Week With Marilyn.”

— Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer, “Beginners.”

— Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer, “The Help.”

— Foreign Language: “A Separation.”

— Animated Film: “The Adventures of Tintin.”

— Screenplay: Woody Allen, “Midnight in Paris.”

— Original Score: Ludovic Bource, “The Artist.”

— Original Song: “Masterpiece” (music and lyrics by Madonna, Julie Frost, Jimmy Harry), “W.E.”

TELEVISION

— Series, Drama: “Homeland,” Showtime.

— Series, Musical or Comedy: “Modern Family,” ABC.

— Actor, Drama: Kelsey Grammer, “Boss.”

— Actress, Drama: Claire Danes, “Homeland.”

— Actress, Musical or Comedy: Laura Dern, “Enlightened.”

— Actor, Musical or Comedy: Matt LeBlanc, “Episodes.”

— Miniseries or Movie: “Downton Abbey (Masterpiece),” PBS.

— Actress, Miniseries or Movie: Kate Winslet, “Mildred Pierce.”

— Actor, Miniseries or Movie: Idris Elba, “Luther.”

— Supporting Actress, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Jessica Lange, “American Horror Story.”

— Supporting Actor, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Peter Dinklage, “Game of Thrones.”


PREVIOUSLY ANNOUNCED

Cecil B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award: Morgan Freeman.