ONE SENTENCE STORIES
Marijuana Bandits, Rooftop Goats, and Space Chickens
It's another installment of the shortest stories in journalism—because there's simply no time for details.
←DESIGN: Among other things, the new City Target gives downtown’s stolen shopping carts a bright, shiny red glow.
CRIME: Sledgehammer-wielding bandits smashed their way into an east-side marijuana dispensary—and left behind a trail of pot crumbs!→
←POLICE: Gresham officers confronted a rooftop-bound goat, but made little headway with the animal, who reportedly “respects only one man” (not a cop).
FOOD: In the greatest kitchen innovation since sous vide, local dreamers hope to cook raw chicken by blasting it into space and triggering an exothermic reaction.→
←DRINK: The most lasting defeat of the Timbers season: defender Mikael Silvestre failed to win approval for Oregon sale of his rhum label.